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There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think weshould protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spendmore time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give youropinion. v.3

There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think weshould protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spendmore time on problems of human beings. v. 3
The rate of extinction is now greater than at almost any point in history and this is important not just for the species that are dying out, but also impacts humans. The loss of species not only reduces the understanding, diversity and beauty of the planet, but also has the potential to create an unstable ecological environment. In addition, there is no reason environmental problems cannot be addressed alongside other human problems. In this essay the importance of protecting animal species will be discussed. It is important to protect animal and plant species from dying out due to human activity as their loss means that the genetic history of that species will be lost along with the opportunity to study and understand the world better. In addition, the world would be a far less interesting and beautiful place without the many now endangered species such as giant pandas, tigers and polar bears. Of even greater concern is that the loss of species creates the risk of creating an ecological environment that is unstable, with a small number of species dominating the planet as they become free from predators leading to an environment that lacks genetic diversity and becomes vulnerable to diseases or natural disasters. In addition, the lack of diversity could slow the recovery from such disasters. Although, there are many other human problems in the world to be solved including, poverty, political instability, wars and pollution, people should not ignore environmental issues. It is possible for societies to attempt to address many problems simultaneously and all issues that threaten the long-term stability of the planet should be addressed urgently. In summary, maintaining the diversity of the planet is critical for human survival and should be dealt with along with many other important problems.
The rate of extinction is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
greater than at almost any point in history and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the species that are dying out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. The loss of species not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the understanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
and beauty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has the potential to create an unstable ecological environment.
In addition
, there is no reason environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cannot
be addressed
alongside other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In this essay the importance of protecting animal species will
be discussed
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect animal and plant species from dying out due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity as their loss means that the genetic history of that species will
be lost
along with the opportunity to study and understand the world better.
In addition
, the world would be a far less interesting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place without the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
endangered species such as giant pandas, tigers and polar bears.

Of even greater concern is that the loss of species creates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of creating an ecological environment
that is
unstable, with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of species dominating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
as they become free from predators leading to an environment that lacks genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
and becomes vulnerable to diseases or natural disasters.
In addition
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
could slow the recovery from such disasters.

Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the world to
be solved
including, poverty, political instability, wars and pollution,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
environmental issues. It is possible for societies to attempt to address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
simultaneously
and all issues that threaten the long-term stability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
should
be addressed
urgently
.

In summary, maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival and should
be dealt
with along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think weshould protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spendmore time on problems of human beings. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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