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Now all over the world, states are fighting crime.

Now all over the world, states are fighting crime. MqV0L
Now all over the world, states are fighting crime. For example, from the latest analyzes of crime, you can see that most of the crime is often seen in the districts (59%) and much less in the city (41%). Due to the fact that there is little work in the suburbs and there is not so much opportunity to live and provide for a family. We can say that the main types of crime are theft, robbery, murder, drugs, human trafficking; fraud. Now the world is sharply spreading fraud, people are often deceived by fraudsters. For example, in Kazakhstan in 2019-2020, the “24 pawnshop” has spread strongly, some call it a “pyramid”. The scheme of work, in the beginning buys from people at a higher price and advertises very strongly, and at the end, when the clients become smaller, they start their work. With this method, at the end, he does not give money for the goods received, and people who believe are left without a penny. We can say that now such crimes very often go away from punishment and in the end ordinary people suffer. Basically, in such cases, residents of the district and the rural population come across, since they have little education and do not know much about the city, in general, about what is happening now in the world, and they also have a very low level of material wealth. Thus, they want to receive easy and huge money, but as they say, only a mousetrap has free cheese. A low level of mind leads to this. In order to solve this problem, it is necessary to provide the inhabitants of the rural city with work. And they also need to be developed instead of with the city. Immigration reduces the crime rate. Also, we must not forget that young people are our future, they must be educated correctly, since they are the ones who repeat all this in the future. You also need to increase the prison term for criminals. This can affect the situation, because before making a presentation, they think about the consequences of this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
all over the world, states are fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, from the latest analyzes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the districts (59%) and much less in the city (41%). Due to the fact that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the suburbs and there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and provide for a family. We can say that the main types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are theft, robbery, murder, drugs, human trafficking; fraud.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
the world is
sharply
spreading fraud,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deceived by fraudsters.
For example
, in Kazakhstan in 2019-2020, the “24 pawnshop” has spread
strongly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
call it a “pyramid”. The scheme of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, in the beginning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at a higher price and advertises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strongly
, and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, when the clients become smaller, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. With this method, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, he does not give money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
received, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without a penny. We can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go away from punishment and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer.
Basically
, in such cases, residents of the district and the rural population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across, since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
education and do not know much about the city,
in general
, about what is happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
in the world, and they
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low level of material wealth.
Thus
, they want to receive easy and huge money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as they say,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a mousetrap has free cheese. A low level of mind leads to this.

In order to solve this problem, it is necessary to provide the inhabitants of the rural city with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. And they
also
need to
be developed
instead
of with the city. Immigration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
Also
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not forget that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are our future, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
correctly
, since they are the ones who repeat all this in the future. You
also
need to increase the prison term for criminals. This can affect the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a presentation, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the consequences of this.
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IELTS essay Now all over the world, states are fighting crime.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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