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news stories on tv and in newspapers are often accompanied by pictures. some people say that these pictures are more effective than words v.1

news stories on tv and in newspapers are often accompanied by pictures. some people say that these pictures are more effective than words v. 1
Nowadays, every person likes to be acquainted with the news and these news clippings are often shown with some striking images. Some thinkers believe that the pictures presented along with the news items are more effective than words, to which I have dissenting views. On one hand, there are many advantages of photographs that are accompanied with the news. The foremost being, these pictures offer an overview for the particular news report for the readers and the listeners. For instance, if the viewer has lack of time or one is illiterate then one can comprehend the news through the photographs which are published along with it. Moreover, these photos even present clarity to the broadcasted news. To illustrate, about 80 percent of the news bulletin is shown with some detailed pictures of the event so as to attract a higher viewership. On the other hand, photographs are of the lesser value unless they are accompanied by some words as words present in depth details of the news report. In addition to this, the larger view and emotions about a particular happening, may it be positive or unpleasant, are conveyed more effectively through words. For example, the sentiments of the victims of natural disasters such as earthquakes can be depicted more impressively through words than photographs. Apart from this, sometimes words become even necessary to explain the facts and figures which are depicted in the photographs accompanied with news clippings. To conclude, albeit pictures are necessary to convey the new to public, however, in my opinion, words create a greater impact on the mind of the readers. Thuss, words are more effective.
Nowadays, every person likes to
be acquainted
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
clippings are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
shown with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
striking images.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
thinkers believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
presented along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
items are more effective than words, to which I have dissenting views.

On one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
that are
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. The foremost being, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
offer an overview for the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report for the readers and the listeners.
For instance
, if the viewer has lack of time or one is illiterate then one can comprehend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
which
are published
along with it.
Moreover
, these photos even present clarity to the broadcasted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. To illustrate, about 80 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
bulletin
is shown
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
attract a higher viewership.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
are of the lesser value unless they
are accompanied
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words as words present in depth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report.
In addition
to this, the larger view and emotions about a particular happening, may it be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or unpleasant,
are conveyed
more
effectively
through words.
For example
, the sentiments of the victims of natural disasters such as earthquakes can
be depicted
more
impressively
through words than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
words become even necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the facts and figures which
are depicted
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
clippings.

To conclude
, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are necessary to convey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
to public,
however
, in my opinion, words create a greater impact on the mind of the readers.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuss
, words are more effective.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay news stories on tv and in newspapers are often accompanied by pictures. some people say that these pictures are more effective than words v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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