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News on media tends to focus on problems and emergencies in individuals and society rather than positive development, which has harmful effects on individuals and society. To what extent di you agree or disagree?

News on media tends to focus on problems and emergencies in individuals and society rather than positive development, which has harmful effects on individuals and society. aAVYd
It is true that media prefer concentrating on negative events rather than positive incidents. Some people argue that this behavior has unhealthy impact on society. In my perspective, I partially agree with this view because reporting the drawback of the society has its pros and cons. On the one hand, exposing the dark side of society to the public has its positive side because this can make more people understand the illnesses of the society and finally tackle them. Since there are always some shortcomings in a real society, people often encounter many social problems, for example educational inequality, economic inequality, juvenile delinquency, obesity and etc. However, not everyone can meet all these problems and have deep understanding about them. Therefore, many people may probably overlook these issues because they have never experienced all these difficulties. Media plays crucial roles in promoting these social topics to these people who understate the extent of these problems. Without media, many people would not pay attention to these issues, thereby these problems would not be addressed as few people notice them means insufficient social resources are invested into these areas. However, the appearance of media has changed this situation which make more resources be invested to solve these problems, thereby make the dark side of society disappear. On the other hand, reporting negative information would cause people lose confidence to the society. Since encountering the dark side of the society is not common in daily life, ordinary people should feel positive to the society. However, many terrible events are widely reported by media, which cause the public immerse into a depressive atmosphere, thereby changing the perspective of ordinary people to the society from positive to negative. Therefore, people would think that the society is full of danger and crime, which cause distrust between people. This would push the entire society into the trust crisis. In conclusion, media should balance the percentage of positive and negative content in order to maximize the positive impact on the society.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
prefer concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
incidents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that this behavior has unhealthy impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my perspective, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
reporting the drawback of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has its pros and cons.

On the one hand, exposing the dark side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to the public has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the illnesses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
finally
tackle them. Since there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortcomings in a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
for example
educational inequality, economic inequality, juvenile delinquency, obesity
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
However
, not everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and have deep understanding about them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
probably
overlook these issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have never experienced all these difficulties.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
plays crucial roles in promoting these social topics to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who understate the extent of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not pay attention to these issues, thereby these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would not
be addressed
as few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
notice them means insufficient social resources
are invested
into these areas.
However
, the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
this situation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more resources
be invested
to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the dark side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
disappear.

On the other hand
, reporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
information would cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose confidence to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Since encountering the dark side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is not common in daily life, ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are
widely
reported by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which cause the public immerse into a depressive atmosphere, thereby changing the perspective of ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and crime, which cause distrust between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This would push the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
into the trust crisis.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should balance the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
content in order to maximize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay News on media tends to focus on problems and emergencies in individuals and society rather than positive development, which has harmful effects on individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • News on media tends to focus on problems and emergencies in individuals and society rather than positive development, which has harmful effects on individuals and society. To what extent di you agree or disagree?