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News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported? v.1

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported? v. 1
The content that is showed on mass media, it is decided for a editor. This professional choose these news according to some elements such as advertising in his media, and the relevant of one person. In my view, we used to bad news, because the negative has an impact in our live. Also, I do not believe that television or newspaper should increase good reports, for the reason that this does not matter to the persons. Overall, the news editors are professionals with many experience, so they know very well the communication business. Indeed, how any company mass media need the money to surviver. Hence, the most important factor for deciding what report will be broadcast is the publicity. Ergo, if one event has a negative impact for a brand this will not appear on the press. Besides, other element that journalists consider is the popularity of one person, for instance politicians, especially, presidents always will have to show them. Regarding to whether we become used to bad informations, I would say absolutly. However, I think that this happen, due to the negative is most interesting for the people. For example, I often check twitter, and the trendic topics, in general, are horrible events such as corruption, natural disaster or accidents. On the other hand, I disagree with the more good news was reported, for the simple reason that people likely would not consume those reports. In conclusion, the communications are managed for editors who are professionals with several knowledge in the business information. Therefore, they are be able to decide what fact would be sell for the people. Those news often are the worse situations, for the reason that unfortunately this events are what the public want to see in their television, radio or newspaper.
The content
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on mass media, it
is decided
for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
editor.
The verb 'choose' is plural. Did you mean: "This professional chooses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This professional choose
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elements such as advertising in his media, and
The phrase 'the relevant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the relevant of
one person. In my view, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
has an impact in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Also
, I do not believe that television or newspaper should increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reports, for the reason that this does not matter to the persons.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
editors are professionals with
Possible agreement error. The noun experience seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much experience", "a good deal of experience".
many experience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well the communication business.
Indeed
, how any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
mass media need the money to
Possible spelling mistake found.
surviver
.
Hence
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for deciding what report will be broadcast is the publicity. Ergo, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact for a brand this will not appear on the press.
Besides
, other element that journalists consider is the popularity of one person,
for instance
politicians,
especially
, presidents always will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them.

The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
whether we become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
, I would say
Possible spelling mistake found.
absolutly
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
The verb 'happen' is plural. Did you mean: "this happens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this happen
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
is most interesting for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
twitter, and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
trendic
topics,
in general
, are horrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as corruption, natural disaster or accidents.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
was reported
, for the simple reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
likely would not consume those reports.

In conclusion
, the communications
are managed
for editors who are professionals with
Possible agreement error. The noun knowledge seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some knowledge".
several knowledge
in the business information.
Therefore
, they are
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to decide what fact would be
Consider using a past participle here: "sold".
sell
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
often are
the worse situations, for the reason that unfortunately
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are what the public want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in their television, radio or newspaper.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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