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New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Today’s industrialised world, almost every part of life is changing seriously due to the new technologies. One of the biggest change is that the machines are taking more place in the production process than workers. This essay will examine the positive and negative effects of this argument and provide my overall opinion. From an overall perspective, there are two key advantages of using the new technological machines to do jobs and manufacturing. This can decrease the cost of producing and increase the time efficiency. Nowadays, in many production processes, the companies are using robotic machines is because this method offers them to manufacture any products more cost effectively and takes less manufacturing time. Therefore, these companies earn more money. A good illustration of this is that this method allows companies to produce more products by taking less time rather than the human powered methods, so these companies make more money in a shorter period. Secondly, producers have obligations to customers in maintaining the quality of their products. These machines provide a significant opportunity in error-free and same standard in the quality of the manufacturing process. In human involved processes, there are always reasons that cause the production errors. This may result in the decrease of the companies' profits because of the waste products which are produced with errors. There are also a variety of disadvantages of this method. Perhaps the main drawback is that it may cause that workers will lose their jobs. If the all manufacturing processes were automated, there would be no reason the human power for them. Therefore, many people might be removed from the jobs and they will probably not be able to afford their needs. In conclusion, it must be said that the machine powered producing has more advantages in overall. Whereas, the impacts on people’s life have crucial importance and should be considered. If we can find a balance between these two methods, it will both be beneficial to the economies and people.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
world, almost every part of life is changing
seriously
due to the new technologies. One of the biggest
Please check whether a plural form of 'change' should be used.
change
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are taking more place in the production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
than workers. This essay will examine the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this argument and provide my
overall
opinion.

From an
overall
perspective, there are two key advantages of using the new technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to do jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
. This can decrease the cost of producing and increase the time efficiency. Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are using robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
offers them to manufacture any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more cost
effectively
and takes less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
time.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
earn more money. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by taking less time
rather
than the human powered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money in a shorter period.
Secondly
, producers have obligations to customers in maintaining the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
provide a significant opportunity in error-free and same standard in the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. In human involved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
, there are always reasons that cause the production errors. This may result in the decrease of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' profits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are produced
with errors.

There are
also
a variety of disadvantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
. Perhaps the main drawback is that it may cause that workers will lose their jobs. If the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
were automated
, there would be no reason the human power for them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
be removed
from the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
they will
probably
not be able to afford their needs.

In conclusion
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
powered producing has more advantages in
overall
. Whereas, the impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life have crucial importance and should
be considered
. If we can find a balance between these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, it will both be beneficial to the economies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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