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New technologies have had a negative efect on our cultural lives

New technologies have had a negative efect on our cultural lives pbW93
Nowadays, technologies are important for our world. They are still and will give a positive meaning for our daily life, work society, . . But when it grows so fast and gives us several things, does it still good? In addition, many people strongly believe that technologies are playing a big role in people’s lives, and if it keeps growing with no stop, it will be a big deal for humans. One of the billionaires in the world has traveled to the universe in his rocket, and that is all because of technology. When our rockets change to be possible transport to move from Earth to another planet, we will need to thank one of the things that grant us that honor -technology. On the other hand, besides the positive effects, there are still people who think we do not need them as much as we seem to think about. When technology grows so fast, people will be lazy and our brain will have the strongest effect, but in negative ways. It will be able to be smaller and smaller, we will not think and always find the internet to know, and that is a big problem. One of the bad effects during the survey in our university, the high-energy visible from phones, laptops, computers will be able to make we be a weak person, we won’t able to sleep well, to eat well, we will difficultly to get focus into something and of course to get a bad consequence in our study and work. So to sum up, things will always have 2 face and include technology. In my opinion, I strongly believe that growing technology is not bad, but we need to use it in a smart way, technology was created to help us, not for us to help them.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our world. They are
still
and will give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
meaning for our daily life, work society
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it grows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and gives us several things, does it
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
?

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
growing with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal for humans. One of the billionaires in the world has traveled to the universe in his rocket, and
that is
all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. When our rockets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to be possible transport to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from Earth to another planet, we will need to thank one of the things that grant us that honor -technology.

On the other hand
,
besides
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, there are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we do not need them as much as we seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
grows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be lazy and our brain will have the strongest effect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ways. It will be able to be smaller and smaller, we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and always find the internet to know, and
that is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem. One of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects during the survey in our university, the high-energy visible from phones, laptops, computers will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
we be a weak person, we won’t able to sleep well, to eat well, we will
difficultly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
focus into something and
of course
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequence in our study and work.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to sum up, things will always have 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'face' seems to be countable, so consider using: "faces".
face
and include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a smart way" with the adverb for "smart"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a smart way
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was created
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us, not for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
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IELTS essay New technologies have had a negative efect on our cultural lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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