Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do the ads of this outweigh disads?

New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do the ads of this outweigh disads? 2lkOj
In recent times, there has been a huge controversy surrounding how kids use their leisure time due to the advent of novel technological devices. Despite some obvious advantages of this trend, I personally believe that these are outweighed by the disadvantages. On the one hand, it is clear that there are two major benefits when people use technological gadgets in their spare time. First and foremost, technology can help people explore the outside world without limitations. For example, at the push of a button, people can find the answer to their question on free search sites like Google, Bing, Ecosia, and so on. Because those conveniences have allowed them to expand their knowledge about all aspects of life. Second, people satisfy with a different way of entertainment compared to conventional games such as watching movies, listening to music, or learning different languages. That helps them unwind and alleviate stress after a nerve-racking day at school. On the other hand, I believe that the demerits are more significant than such merits. To start with, it may have a detrimental impact on people’s physical health. This is because they spend hours on end playing computer games or phones, have no time to engage in physical activities, and do not contribute to healthy sleep. As a result, people’s health would be negatively affected such as eyestrain, obesity, or cardiovascular disease. Second, Children are readily influenced by violent visuals that are all too common on the Internet if they are not supervised by their parents. Indeed, minors are too young to distinguish between right and wrong behaviors. As a result, breaking the law is simple for them. Many studies have linked the rise in popularity of technology to the rise in the number of juvenile criminals. In conclusion, after weighing the pros and cons, I would argue that although new technology causes some problems in human life bring about some possible benefits, the downsides are far more significant.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, there has been a huge controversy surrounding how kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to the advent of novel technological devices. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious advantages of this trend, I
personally
believe that these
are outweighed
by the disadvantages.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are two major benefits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technological gadgets in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
First
and foremost, technology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
explore the outside world without limitations.
For example
, at the push of a button,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find the answer to their question on free search sites like Google, Bing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ecosia
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
those conveniences have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to expand their knowledge about all aspects of life. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfy with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of entertainment compared to conventional games such as watching movies, listening to music, or learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them unwind and alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a nerve-racking day at school.

On the other hand
, I believe that the demerits are more significant than such merits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it may have a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
physical health. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend hours on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
playing computer games or phones, have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to engage in physical activities, and do not contribute to healthy sleep.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health would be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
such as eyestrain, obesity, or cardiovascular disease. Second, Children are
readily
influenced by violent visuals that are all too common on the Internet if they are not supervised by their parents.
Indeed
, minors are too young to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
behaviors.
As a result
, breaking the law is simple for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have linked the rise in popularity of technology to the rise in the number of juvenile criminals.

In conclusion
, after weighing the pros and cons, I would argue that although new technology causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in human life bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible benefits, the downsides are far more significant.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do the ads of this outweigh disads?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Technology is beneficial or not
    Undoubtedly, the importance of technology which was always debatable has now become more controversy with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. This controversial has sparked the potential impact over the years. This essay would shed light on valid standpoints i...
  • 5band
    Some children are using computer in school more than over. Describe what advantages and disadvantages of this?
    One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in number of people believing that some pupils are use more computers for study which was low popular in past. As such, there are both merits and demerits of trend. This essay would shed light on both sides in upcoming paragra...
  • 5band
    Why are you interested in MUN? (200 words maximum)
    Recently, I have come across lots of information about CYMUN on the Facebook. The density of shares raised my curiosity about the conference, so I decided to learn more about it. After nearly one week reading up about the MUN, I found it appropriate for students, especially an English-major student ...
  • 6band
    Fashion has been considered as one type of fine art, comparable to painting or sculpture. with this statement?
    Art is a diverse range of (and products of) human activities involving creative imagination to express technical proficiency, beauty, emotional power, or conceptual ideas. In my opinion, fashion has generally been seen as a type of fine art, equal to painting or sculpture. On the one hand, Fashion ...
  • 6.5band
    effects and solutions for the increase of advertising
    It is a fact that in our modern technology era, there are more and more commercials that are launched by various competing companies. Although this trend can bring to the consumers both positive and negative consequences, society can take steps to mitigate these potential problems. To begin with, i...
  • 5.5band
    Living in a new place, reasons not to and how to research the place
    Housing has been one of the basic human needs since forever. House needs to fulfil several criteria to be called not only house, but also home. Some of those are its history. Knowing the history of houses or building is pretty crucial in most of countries, particularly when people are inhibiting old...