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effects and solutions for the increase of advertising

effects and solutions for the increase of advertising 75mQY
It is a fact that in our modern technology era, there are more and more commercials that are launched by various competing companies. Although this trend can bring to the consumers both positive and negative consequences, society can take steps to mitigate these potential problems. To begin with, it is undoubted that some types of advertisements are advantageous to purchasers. First, the consumers can easily find information about commodities through forms of advertising. For example, by comparing the information between different brands, choosing suitable products for themselves will be easier and save more time. Additionally, advertising can also create competitive pressure that makes the companies try to improve their marketing activities to produce higher quality commodities. By contrast, advertisements are not only beneficial, but they are also disadvantageous. Firstly, they are not reliable because through social networking sites, the producers can easily post their low quality products with dangerous unconfirmed information that affect human’s life. In addition, too many negative advertisements can also influence people's minds. For instance, there are many advertising programmes emphasizing negative images such as ricket children, some diseases… that scare the viewers. However, there are several actions that could be taken to solve this issue. The first solution is that the consumers should become wise buyers. This means that they should find out detailed information and feedback of the goods and carefully consider before making the decisions to buy. Moreover, the commercials must be censored before being released to the market. Through this measure, the bad ads can be removed and people’s health and mind can be protected. In conclusion, although advertisement, an indispensable part of our life, in both negative and positive ways, we can still take advantage of it by controlling and selecting suitable commercials.
It is a fact that in our modern technology era, there are more and more commercials that
are launched
by various competing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Although this trend can bring to the consumers both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
consequences, society can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is undoubted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are advantageous to purchasers.
First
, the consumers can
easily
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about commodities through forms of advertising.
For example
, by comparing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands, choosing suitable products for themselves will be easier and save more time.
Additionally
, advertising can
also
create competitive pressure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their marketing activities to produce higher quality commodities.

By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
disadvantageous.
Firstly
, they are not reliable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
through social networking sites, the producers can
easily
post their low quality products with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
unconfirmed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that affect human’s life.
In addition
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
also
influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's minds.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertising
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
emphasizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
images such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ricket
children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases… that scare the viewers.

However
, there are several actions that could
be taken
to solve this issue. The
first
solution is that the consumers should become wise buyers. This means that they should find out detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and feedback of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
carefully
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Moreover
, the commercials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be censored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being released
to the market. Through this measure, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ads can
be removed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health and mind can
be protected
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, an indispensable part of our life, in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways, we can
still
take advantage of it by controlling and selecting suitable commercials.
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IELTS essay effects and solutions for the increase of advertising

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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