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Some children are using computer in school more than over. Describe what advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some children are using computer in school more than over. Describe what advantages and disadvantages of this? xDBAa
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in number of people believing that some pupils are use more computers for study which was low popular in past. As such, there are both merits and demerits of trend. This essay would shed light on both sides in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are deluges of arguments in favour of computers. The most preponderant one is that it saves time of students. It cannot only contributed to enhance their knowledge, but also leads to numerous other benefits in various fields. Hence, wide of advantages it offers, learners can enhance the quality and productivity of their lives with much ease, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand in one good stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. On the other hand, there are some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the potential benefits in various areas. The primary one lies in the fact that computers effect on their health. To explain it, when they use more computer then it effect their eyesight weak and they become a fatty person. For instance, the study results published by Australia government clearly indicate that computer is the biggest problem for health. Therefore, it is clear, why it is a negative trend. To conclude, having pondered over above-stated it is crystal clear that use of computers by students has both merits and demerits.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
today
's world is a colossal upsurge in number of
people
believing that
some
pupils are
use
more computers for study which was low popular
in past
. As such, there are both merits and demerits of trend. This essay would shed light on both sides in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are deluges of arguments in
favour
of computers. The most preponderant one is that it saves time of students. It cannot
only
contributed to enhance their knowledge,
but
also
leads to numerous other benefits in various fields.
Hence
, wide of advantages it offers, learners can enhance the quality and productivity of their
lives
with much
ease
, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand in one
good
stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
.
On the other hand
, there are
some
pitfalls that can
easily
overwhelm the potential benefits in various areas. The primary one lies in the fact that computers effect on their health. To
explain
it, when they
use
more computer
then
it
effect
their eyesight
weak and
they become a fatty person.
For instance
, the study results published by Australia
government
clearly
indicate that computer is the biggest problem for health.
Therefore
, it is
clear
, why it is a
negative
trend.
To conclude
, having pondered over above-stated it is crystal
clear
that
use
of computers by students has both merits and demerits.
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IELTS essay Some children are using computer in school more than over. Describe what advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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