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navodaya celebrities are more famous than their brand of girlfriend their achievement and this has that card example for youngsters to extend do you agree or disagree

navodaya celebrities are more famous than their brand of girlfriend their achievement and this has that card example for youngsters to extend dDnlP
Without the shadow of doubt, famous personality like, actor, singer, sports person and many more are famous for their name and fame rather than their talents and achievements. People think they set the worse example for younger generation. I completely agree with this notion. So, I will explain my point of view in some subsequent paragraph. To begin with, there are a plethora of reasons why I support this later statement. The first and foremost reason is that, the modern generation follow the lifestyle of celebrities. For instance, many famous celebrities likes actors and singers are very famous. Youngsters think that they do not do hard work and they get name and fame easily with the help of their parents. As a result, children follow the footsteps and they never do hard work and they do not interest in their studies. They wear branded and fashionable clothes and create and post videos on social platforms. Because they believe they make a star. Moreover, many celebrities are famous from their ancestor's work because their parents and grandparents do hard work and a famous from their achievements but after their children have enough money and name and they used that facts and make famous persons. To epitome, In India there are numerous political leader's child who use their parents powers and get success easily. As a result, normal youth also want for making wealthy person with the support of their parents and finance but sometimes it's not possible. Hence, teenagers demotivate and sometimes they get stress. To sum up, according to my prospective if famous person show their talents achievements more than their glamorous then youth would be automatically achieved success with the help of such examples.
Without the shadow of doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personality like, actor, singer, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for their name and fame
rather
than their talents and achievements.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they set the worse example for younger generation. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subsequent paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are a plethora of reasons why I support this later statement. The
first
and foremost reason is that, the modern generation follow the lifestyle of celebrities.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
likes actors and singers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
. Youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they do not do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
name and fame
easily
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
As a result
, children follow the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
footsteps and
they never do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they do not interest in their studies. They wear branded and fashionable clothes and create and post videos on social platforms.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they believe they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a star.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
from their ancestor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
from their achievements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after their children have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
name and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
that facts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
. To epitome, In India there are numerous political
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "leaders"?
leader
's child who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
powers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success
easily
.
As a result
, normal youth
also
want for making wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with the support of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it's not possible.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
demotivate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To sum up, according to my prospective if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talents achievements more than their glamorous then youth would be
automatically
achieved success with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of such examples.
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IELTS essay navodaya celebrities are more famous than their brand of girlfriend their achievement and this has that card example for youngsters to extend

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • navodaya celebrities are more famous than their brand of girlfriend their achievement and this has that card example for youngsters to extend do you agree or disagree