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A high salary is much more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A high salary is much more important than job satisfaction. with this statement? m5D8K
We can say that the human being has to work throughout the life span, so that they can get a better lifestyle. It is often argued that earning a good wage is vital, irrespective of their job satisfaction which associated with the career. I strongly disagree with the statement for several reasons. First of all, the person who enjoys job can concentrate more on their work, often produce greater results due to their passion. They tend to perform longer hours effectively, which helps the company grow or goodwill with the clients. This provides a sense of fulfilment that no high-paid profession can offer. For instance, doctors who start their career with a low wages perform tasks day and night to save people and, therefore, their contribution towards society gives them the pleasure of working in the field of their interest. On the other hand, people who go for a high-paid occupation based on the monetary benefits cannot work productively because of the lack of interest and motivation in his job. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put money on the first place. In other words, there is a strong relation between work satisfaction and productivity. For example, there are many people, nowadays, who are decided to leave his everyday office life despite a good wage and started working on switching their hobbies into professions, such as painting and writing books. And, after enduring years of ups and downs they succeed with their job and earn millions. In conclusion, although it is impossible to deny the importance of money for our life, I strongly believe that job fulfilment is more beneficial than higher salary because it makes people happy and motivated.
We can say that the human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
throughout the life span,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better lifestyle. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that earning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage is vital, irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction which associated with the career. I
strongly
disagree with the statement for several reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enjoys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can concentrate more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
produce greater results due to their passion. They tend to perform longer hours
effectively
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
grow or goodwill with the clients. This provides a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
that no high-paid profession can offer.
For instance
, doctors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career with a low wages perform tasks day and night to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and,
therefore
, their contribution towards society gives them the pleasure of working in the field of their interest.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go for a high-paid occupation based on the monetary benefits cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of interest and motivation in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
easily
excel in their fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and achieve better results than those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put money on the
first
place.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
satisfaction and productivity.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are decided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his everyday office life despite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working on switching their hobbies into professions, such as painting and writing books. And, after enduring years of ups and downs they succeed with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and earn millions.

In conclusion
, although it is impossible to deny the importance of money for our life, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
is more beneficial than higher salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay A high salary is much more important than job satisfaction. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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