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Natural talents are more important than working hard to achieve success. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Natural talents are more important than working hard to achieve success. v. 3
Some people think that it is the responsibility of producer to reduce the packaging or the product and this can have a negative effect on the environment. Beside, others believe that each individual should not consume the goods which have the plastic packaging. This essay will be discussed about this issue which I will give my own opinion. On the one hand, I believe that the companies have to reduce the amount of elastic bag to package the products. The buyers also have very little awareness about the negative impacts that packaging have and the costumers do not have much knowledge about the packaging using in the product so it is very difficult for them to avoid. Moreover, the producers and manufacturers can also reduce the nylon bag in the process by using the biodegradable packaging, they can consume the paper and tote bag to package them. In some brand use some activities to raise awareness like discount for the products. For example, Highland coffee and supermarkets must be a great way to discount buyers' prices if they buy their own packaging to take the products. On the other hand, individuals also have responsibilities to protect the environment. They can use the biodegradable packing like paper or bamboo straws to save the money, also protect the marine and terrestrial animal. When they go shopping, they can utilize tote bags to carry goods instead of elastic bag. The government should set higher prices for plastic bags to encourage people to use recycled cloth bags. For instance, a senior citizen in the city of Bangalore in India took the initiative to stop using plastic products by educating his family members first, then friends and neighbours. To conclude, although the plastic packaging is really cheap and convenient, but it also has some disadvantage in using, everyone needs to reduce that figure of packaging. Thus, the argument that the manufacture, supermarkets and residents should take the responsibility to reduce over packaging certainly makes sense.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the responsibility of producer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and this can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the environment. Beside, others believe that each individual should not consume the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
. This essay will be
Did you mean simply "discussed this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about this
issue which I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the amount of elastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
to package the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The buyers
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
awareness about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
have and the costumers do not have much knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
using in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for them to avoid.
Moreover
, the producers and manufacturers can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the nylon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
in the process by using the biodegradable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
, they can consume the paper and tote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
to package them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities to raise awareness like discount for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, Highland coffee and supermarkets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a great way to discount buyers' prices if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
to take the products.

On the other hand
, individuals
also
have responsibilities to protect the environment. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the biodegradable packing like paper or bamboo straws to save the money,
also
protect the marine and terrestrial animal. When they go shopping, they can utilize tote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
to carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
instead
of elastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set higher prices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recycled cloth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
.
For instance
, a senior citizen in the city of Bangalore in India took the initiative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by educating his family members
first
, then friends and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

To conclude
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage in using, everyone needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
that figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
.
Thus
, the argument that the manufacture, supermarkets and residents should take the responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Natural talents are more important than working hard to achieve success. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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