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n some countries, more and more modules ore living with their parents offer to graduate from college, university, or even offer to find o job. Do the odvonloges of this oulweigh the disodvonfoges?

n some countries, more and more modules ore living with their parents offer to graduate from college, university, or even offer to find o job. Do the odvonloges of this oulweigh the disodvonfoges? 8GKnx
It is irrefutable that the economies are struggling all over the world. As a result, the youth of today is finding it very difficult to find good employment and become financially independent. This has consequently led to an increase in the number of adult children returning home to live with their parents. I believe that the advantages of children staying with parents, after completing their college or university education, are more than the disadvantages. I will put forth my views in the upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost advantage of working adult children staying at home is that they contribute towards the household income and share the expenses. This reduces the burden on the earning members of the family. Not only this, but it also helps them reduce their expenses and helps them save money. Rather than struggling to pay rent and take care of other expenses, they can invest money or save money for a future home. Furthermore, there is a better bonding and stronger family ties in a family that stays together. Even though life has become hectic and there is not enough time to spend with family and friends, it is very comforting to know that there is someone at home that they can share their problems with. This helps them deal better with stressful situations in life and at work. lt is also said that if children stay longer with their parents, they are more likely to support and take care of their parents in old age, due to the strong family bonds. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well, which cannot be overlooked. Living with the parents after completing their education, may make the children more dependent, rather than independent. They depend on someone to do the daily chores, like washing clothes, cooking food, cleaning dishes, and so on. They might not also become financially responsible. Also, if the parents have a retirement plan, they have to put it on hold, till the time the children are staying at home. To sum up, it can be said that living at home can be very beneficial for both the adult children and the parents, provided the children contribute towards the household resources, in terms of expenses and sharing work at home.
It is irrefutable that the economies are struggling all over the world.
As a result
, the youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is finding it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employment and become
financially
independent. This has
consequently
led to an increase in the number of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
returning home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, after completing their college or university education, are more than the disadvantages. I will put forth my views in the upcoming paragraphs. The
first
and foremost advantage of working adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
staying at home is that they contribute towards

the household income and share the expenses. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the burden on the earning members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their expenses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them save money.
Rather
than struggling to pay rent and take care of other expenses, they can invest money or save money for

a future home.

Furthermore
, there is a better bonding and stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that stays together.
Even though


life has become hectic and there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comforting

to know that there is someone at home that they can share their problems with. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them deal

better with stressful situations in life and at work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is
also
said that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stay longer with their

parents, they are more likely to support and take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, due to the strong family

bonds.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
, which cannot
be overlooked
. Living with the

parents after completing their education, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more dependent,
rather
than

independent. They depend on someone to do the daily chores, like washing clothes, cooking food, cleaning

dishes, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They might not
also
become
financially
responsible.
Also
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a

retirement plan, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put it on hold, till the time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are staying at home.

To sum up, it can
be said
that living at home can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for both the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the

parents, provided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
contribute towards the household resources, in terms of expenses and

sharing work at home.
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IELTS essay n some countries, more and more modules ore living with their parents offer to graduate from college, university, or even offer to find o job. Do the odvonloges of this oulweigh the disodvonfoges?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • n some countries, more and more modules ore living with their parents offer to graduate from college, university, or even offer to find o job. Do the odvonloges of this oulweigh the disodvonfoges?