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n a fast-paced modern society, all traditional humans' customs and behavior have been changed due to the fact that they are extremely crowded

n a fast-paced modern society, all traditional humans' customs and behavior have been changed due to the fact that they are extremely crowded LGpL8
In a fast-paced modern society, all traditional humans' customs and behavior have been changed due to the fact that they are extremely crowded. A controversial question has aroused people' mind whether having a regular meal with other family members are vital? Although opinions are various from one person to another one, I completely agree with the statement. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraph. To begin with, having a meal with other family members leads to boost the family bond and improving its mental health. In hustle and bustle of the modern era, individuals are under pressure and are exposed to stress induces. In this circumstance, a collective meal allows them to gather around each other and enrich their sense of belongs as well as it gives an opportunity for them to talk about diverse issues and forget their dilemmas even for a moment, and to be calm down. apart from relieving the mental condition, having dinnertime or lunchtime time with parent enrich the interpersonal relationship. obviously, nowadays there are various challenges such as organized crimes, depression and etc that pose threat to the family. in this condition, not only offspring are looking to talk with their father or mother to use their advisement but the parents want to exchange their experience with them. this is an excellent situation, where children can chat with other family members and find a good solution for their obstacles, in addition, it causes that parent and children get to the mutual understanding. put in brief, according to above mentioned it can be concluded that having a meal with another member of family play a great role in keeping safe mental and physical health and it causes to boost interpersonal relationship
In a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced modern society, all traditional humans' customs and behavior have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to the fact that they are
The extreme adjective for crowded is "packed".
extremely crowded
. A controversial question has aroused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' mind whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are vital? Although opinions are various from one person to another one, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
leads to boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond and improving its mental health. In hustle and bustle of the modern era, individuals are under pressure and
are exposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
induces. In this circumstance, a collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to gather around each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and enrich their sense of belongs
as well
as it gives an opportunity for them to talk about diverse issues and forget their dilemmas even for a moment, and to be calm down.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from relieving the mental condition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
dinnertime or lunchtime time with parent enrich the interpersonal relationship.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obviously
, nowadays there are various challenges such as organized crimes, depression
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
that pose threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this condition, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offspring are looking to talk with their father or mother to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their advisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the parents want to exchange their experience with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is an excellent situation, where children can chat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution for their obstacles,
in addition
, it causes that parent and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the mutual understanding.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
put
in brief
, according to above mentioned it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
play a great role in keeping safe mental and physical health and it causes
Did you mean "boosting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to boost
interpersonal relationship
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IELTS essay n a fast-paced modern society, all traditional humans' customs and behavior have been changed due to the fact that they are extremely crowded

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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