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Conclusion of advantages and disadvantages of university education

Conclusion of advantages and disadvantages of university education 7WMp5
I’m already analyze about the advantages and disadvantages of university education. However I think if you want to get a good job. University education can develop your skills and your knowledge, I think this is the main thing that why you should complete the university education. And if you complete university education you also can increase your earning too, of cause everyone want money to use in daily life and they want to have many money to pay for everything that they want. In the university you can make new friends too because your life in university most of the time I think you are with your friends. Anyway you must attend the university education because it’s mean like something to confirm you that you are really good and you have a knowledgeable in standard
I’m already analyze about the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can develop your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and your knowledge, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the main thing that why you should complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. And if you complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
you
also
can increase your earning too,
Did you mean "of course" (=naturally)?
of cause
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have
Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much money", "a good deal of money".
many money
to pay for everything that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
most of the time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you are with your friends. Anyway you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s mean like something to confirm you that you are
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and you have a knowledgeable in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
standard

IELTS essay Conclusion of advantages and disadvantages of university education

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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