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Describe a trip you really liked.

Describe a trip you really liked. VEbPQ
More than a year ago, I was lucky to have the opportunity to come to Mai Chau, which is around an hour by car from my place. It’s a volunteer trip hosted by my university’s student association. The place is a mountainous area, so it was very spacious, with many trees and fresh air. I experienced numerous interesting activities there, such as teaching and organizing games for local children, planting trees, cooking and so on. Actually, at first, I went just for the purpose of getting a certificate in social activities since it would be beneficial for me when applying for scholarships, but then I realized I actually learned a lot of things from the trip. I met many new friends and I’m more confident and active now. Before, I always thought of myself as an unlucky person, but after coming here, I can see that I am way luckier than many people. Although living in a very difficult area, they always stay happy, friendly, and optimistic. That’s why I am so grateful for this trip and in the future, I would love to have a chance like this again.
More than a year ago, I was lucky to have the opportunity to
come
to Mai
Chau
, which is around an hour by car from my place. It’s a volunteer trip hosted by my university’s student association. The place is a mountainous area,
so
it was
very
spacious, with
many
trees and fresh air. I experienced numerous interesting activities there, such as teaching and organizing games for local children, planting trees, cooking and
so
on. Actually, at
first
, I went
just
for the purpose of getting a certificate in social activities since it would be beneficial for me when applying for scholarships,
but
then I realized I actually learned
a lot of
things from the trip. I met
many
new friends and I’m more confident and active
now
.
Before
, I always
thought
of myself as an unlucky person,
but
after coming here, I can
see
that I am way luckier than
many
people
. Although living in a
very
difficult area, they always stay happy, friendly, and optimistic. That’s why I am
so
grateful for this trip and in the future, I would
love
to have a chance like this again.
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IELTS essay Describe a trip you really liked.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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