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My trip to Paris alone with memorises

My trip to Paris alone with memorises AjqR1
Paris is one of the most attractive cities in the world. People perceived Paris as the city of love. Since I was a child I also dreamed and wanted to travel to Paris. In 2019, When I was a fourth-year student at the Royal University of Fine Arts, I had chosen to Paris to participate in some activities related to archaeology which support by the University of Toulouse-Jean Jaurès funds. I was so excited when I was there, but during that time I also have some problems because I was travelled alone to Paris. In the beginning, everything was new for me both cultural trait and people pursuit. In the morning the weather was so cold, and I had to walk to a subway station. During walking the streets of Paris I saw many beautiful old colourful building which is a model of the Khmer building during French colonial and many people dressed so fashionable. Next, I had taken a subway around 30 minutes until the ultimate station of the subway, and I had to walk more to Eiffel Tower which is very distinctive in France. After a while, I walked alone in a crowd while I lost my phone, so I got lost, and I did not know where I was so I had to solve this problem. In France, one aspect of the problem is many people who can speak only their languages. It is so hard for me because I could only listen in French but I could not speak out. Furthermore, I also embarrassed to talk to people in a crowd, but that time it was exposed. Suddenly, I had seen two girls stood in front of a university so I bravely came and asked them to help. Luckily, I felt like got a mystery gift because they can speak English very well. After that, I suggested they to help me to find a phone shop to buy a new phone and then want to Eiffel Tower together, and we were back to our own home in the evening. Since the previous time until now we still connecting. Travel to Paris is one of the most significant experiences of my life. I can vividly remember the day I met two kindly girls. What I got from this trip that many things such as challenge myself to live alone and made me more strong both physical and mental quality. Travel alone can be the riskiest, scariest and life-changing experience of your life. However, do not wait for someone to travel with you that might end up you are waiting a lifetime
Paris is one of the most attractive cities in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
perceived Paris as the city of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. Since I was a child I
also
dreamed and wanted to travel to Paris. In 2019, When I was a fourth-year student at the Royal University of Fine Arts, I had chosen to Paris to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities related to archaeology which support by the University of Toulouse-Jean
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaurès
funds. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited when I was there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
during that time I
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was travelled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
to Paris.

In the beginning, everything was new for me both cultural trait and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursuit. In the morning the weather was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, and I had to walk to a subway station. During walking the streets of Paris I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
building which is a model of the Khmer building during French colonial and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fashionable.
Next
, I had taken a subway around 30 minutes until the ultimate station of the subway, and I had to walk more to Eiffel Tower which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
distinctive in France.

After a while, I walked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
in a crowd while I lost my phone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lost, and I did not know where I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to solve this problem. In France, one aspect of the problem is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can speak
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their languages. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
listen in French
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could not speak out.
Furthermore
, I
also
embarrassed to talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a crowd,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that time it
was exposed
.
Suddenly
, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
two girls stood in front of a university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
bravely
came and asked them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Luckily, I felt like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a mystery gift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can speak English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. After that, I suggested they to
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help me find"?
help me to find
a phone shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new phone and then want to Eiffel Tower together, and we were back to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home in the evening. Since the previous time until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we
still
connecting.

Travel to Paris is one of the most significant experiences of my life. I can
vividly
remember the day I met two kindly girls. What I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from this trip that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as challenge myself to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and made me more strong both physical and mental quality. Travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can be the riskiest, scariest and life-changing experience of your life.
However
, do not wait for someone to travel with you that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up you are waiting a lifetime
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IELTS essay My trip to Paris alone with memorises

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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