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My personal experiences about my life

My personal experiences about my life xmrPQ
India has always been the land of sages and seers. Since childhood, I’ve been under influence of many sages and saints as my father is from Haridwar ( Gateway to Gods ) and my mother is from Kurukshetra ( Land of Bhagavad Gita ). From the zygote, the first cell of life to a multicellular organism our body keeps on evolving. Karma is nothing but complexity. Let's take an example of a workplace. You see a person for the first time and thinks that he looks like a monkey. In-office you recognize him and finds out that he is your boss. Then, you think that I’m smarter than this monkey do I have to work for him. By the time your thoughts build up and the consequence is you become a racist. This is karma, a mosaic of thoughts. Karma is not about how people treat you but how you react to it. Mind is an important component of the body. You can use a piece of machinery efficiently if you have its user’s manual and you know about it. Likewise, knowing about the mind and having control over it can keep your conscience alive and guide you throughout your life. There are several ways with which you can make you can control your mind. 1. Shenanigans of mind In 6th grade, grade I had a friend named Ali. When I used to talk to him, hours used to feel like seconds. He was my brother. And not by something as accidental as blood. . . by something much stronger. By choice. One day we both were exhilarated about the dream that we gonna become rich. he told me the first thing he's gonna buy is a PlayStation. I told him I'm gonna be the first one to use it. He refused and said, " You're too clumsy you're gonna break my controller. " The reply made me furious and we had a conflict about it. I did not talk to him for months. So you see, he hasn't become rich, the PlayStation hasn't been bought, I haven't held the controller in my hands. The mind likes to manipulate the thought process of an individual and it often leads to bad decesions.
India has always been the land of sages and seers. Since childhood, I’ve been under influence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sages and saints as my father is from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Haridwar
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Gateway to Gods
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and my mother is from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kurukshetra
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Land of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhagavad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gita
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. From the zygote, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
cell of life to a multicellular organism our body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on evolving. Karma is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
complexity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take an example of a workplace. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a person for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that he looks like a monkey. In-office you recognize him and finds out that he is your boss. Then, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I’m smarter than this monkey do I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for him. By the time your thoughts build up and the consequence is you become a racist. This is karma, a mosaic of thoughts. Karma is not about how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
treat you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how you react to it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mind
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
component of the body. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a piece of machinery
efficiently
if you have its user’s manual and you know about it.
Likewise
, knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and having control over it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your conscience alive and guide you throughout your life. There are several ways with which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you can control your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind. 1
. Shenanigans of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
mind


In 6th grade, grade I had a friend named Ali. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to talk to him, hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to feel like seconds. He was my brother. And not by something as accidental as blood.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
something much stronger. By choice. One day we both
were exhilarated
about the dream that we
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
become rich.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
thing he's
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
is a PlayStation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him I'm
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. He refused and said,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
You're too clumsy you're
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
break my controller.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The reply made me
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
furious and
we had a conflict about it. I did not talk to him for months.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, he hasn't become rich, the PlayStation hasn't been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
, I haven't held the controller in my hands. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
likes to manipulate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of an individual and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
decesions
.
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IELTS essay My personal experiences about my life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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