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More and more people are eating healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same? 85EBr
The number of people adhering to healthy food and regular physical activities is rising. The main reasons for that are advances in science and awareness about the benefits of an active lifestyle. Among possible approaches aiming to make other people do the same is school programs telling about the importance of sport and good food. At present, technologies allow people to discover more about their health and what should be done to maintain it on optimal level for many years. Firstly, with the help of the Internet, it is relatively easy to find information about the right ways of taking care of the human's body. Secondly, evolving technologies allow humankind to reveal the most beneficial habits and patterns of behaviour to stay healthy as long as possible. For instance, some scientific studies noted that vegetarianism cannot be applied by any person and may lead to serious diseases. One of the ways of increasing the number of persons leading a healthy lifestyle is launching more sports events. The more individuals participate in such events, the more active people will be. Another possible solution is introducing subjects at schools about the significance of proper diet and physical activities. For example, in Japan, some schools included into their curriculum lessons about nutrition. Not only does it affect children but also it may change the mindset of many parents. In conclusion, the major reasons why more people eat good food and exercise on a regular basis are informational awareness and modern technologies stressing the importance of an active lifestyle. To support this tendency and force it, many school curriculums should be modified.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adhering to healthy food and regular physical activities is rising. The main reasons for that are advances in science and awareness about the benefits of an active lifestyle. Among possible approaches aiming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do the same is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs telling about the importance of sport and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food.

At present, technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover more about their health and what should
be done
to maintain it on optimal level for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Firstly
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet, it is
relatively
easy to find information about the right ways of taking care of the human's body.
Secondly
, evolving technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
humankind to reveal the most beneficial habits and patterns of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to stay healthy as long as possible.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific studies noted that vegetarianism cannot
be applied
by any person and may lead to serious diseases.

One of the ways of increasing the number of persons leading a healthy lifestyle is launching more sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. The more individuals participate in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, the more active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be. Another possible solution is introducing subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
about the significance of proper diet and physical activities.
For example
, in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
included into their curriculum lessons about nutrition. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it affect children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mindset of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents.

In conclusion
, the major reasons why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food and exercise on a regular basis are informational awareness and modern technologies stressing the importance of an active lifestyle. To support this tendency and force it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculums should
be modified
.
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IELTS essay More and more people are eating healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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