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stars supports for charity

stars supports for charity BJDPd
There has been some controversy recently about the impact of celebrities' support for international aid organizations. While some people state that this is an effective way to draw attention to the problem, others say it is not appropriate. As far as I am concerned, the contribution of celebrities is critical for organizations. This essay will dicsuss both of approaches. To begin with, celebrity aids have a plethora of drawbacks. Some celebrities organize certain charitable donations to increase Instagram followers and stay on the agenda. Even some celebrities arrange fake aid campaigns. However, It is very useful when the charity events of equitable and without any profit. Firstly, popular people's work, which is the perfect method for demonstrating their influence on society, is always in the spotlight. The help of celebrities to certain organizations, which is constantly monitored on social networks and news sites, stimulates people and raises important issues. Secondy, fans of celebrities tend to continue their deeds, even doing their best to make the people they admire happy. For example, Justin Bieber who was 20 years old donated $545, 000 to AIDS/HIV at the amfAR's 21st Cinema Against AIDS Gala. After the phenomenon, his fans raised up to 10% of the amount he paid for charity. In my opinion, the donations of celebrities in various fields are very critical. The lives of many sick people, children, hungry and helpless people can be saved thanks to the stars. Angelina Jolie help and join field missions in more than 20 countries. Every year, she meets with people of poverty and refugees from all around the world. In conclusion, as mentioned above, although having negative influences, it is more likely to bring merits.
There has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversy recently about the impact of celebrities' support for international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
organizations. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that this is an effective way to draw attention to the problem, others say it is not appropriate. As far as I
am concerned
, the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
is critical for organizations. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicsuss
both of approaches.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
have a plethora of drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
organize certain charitable donations to increase Instagram followers and stay on the agenda. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
arrange fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
campaigns.
However
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful when the charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of equitable and without any profit.
Firstly
, popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's work, which is the perfect method for demonstrating their influence on society, is always in the spotlight. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to certain organizations, which is
constantly
monitored on social networks and news sites, stimulates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondy
, fans of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
tend to continue their deeds, even doing their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they admire happy.
For example
, Justin Bieber who was 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
donated $545, 000 to AIDS/HIV at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
amfAR
's 21st Cinema Against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AIDS
Gala. After the phenomenon, his fans raised up to 10% of the amount he paid for charity.

In my opinion, the donations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in various fields are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, children, hungry and helpless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be saved
thanks to the stars. Angelina Jolie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
field missions in more than 20 countries. Every year, she meets with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of poverty and refugees from all around the world.

In conclusion
, as mentioned above, although having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences, it is more likely to bring merits.
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IELTS essay stars supports for charity

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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