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My people think that tourism is important while other argue that it is not important. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

My people think that tourism is important while other argue that it is not important. YdldK
there are several reasons why tourism is important. The first and foremost reason is that tourism increases counties economic. In other words, many tourist travels through aviation for it helps to rises country revenue. Not only increase economic, but also improve the way living style. However, tourist aids to maintain old building. By this I mean they vist historical monument and they have to pay for entry tickets. As a result, generate enough money for refurbishment or developing old buildings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are several reasons why tourism is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. The
first
and foremost reason is that tourism increases counties economic.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist travels through aviation for it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "rise".
rises
country revenue. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase economic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the way living style.
However
, tourist aids to maintain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
building. By this I mean they
Possible spelling mistake found.
vist
historical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
monument and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for entry tickets.
As a result
, generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for refurbishment or developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings.

IELTS essay My people think that tourism is important while other argue that it is not important.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
80 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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