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my opinion positive and negative developmen essay

my opinion positive and negative developmen essay x2KMy
In today’s modern life, where anything is turning into modern, young people are selecting to live in a fashion lifestyle. In some developed societies, many more humans are choosing to stay alone than in the past, nowadays. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I am going to show the reasons of selections of living separately of adults. First of all, the whole mankind is learning to live separately in order to study to control their future. Owing to the fact that, by staying single teenagers can realize the most enigmatic parts of fashion life. For example, people who have learned to live alone. In a result of it, the rate of knowledgeable people will increase in the near future. Then, they will acquire bright future. Second, young part of the humankind can find out saving money, when they live separately from their parents. Because, in order not to borrow money from anybody, then, they do not get in trouble with money. Due to the fact that, a person living alone is reluctant to feel ashamed. For instance, collected money may be used to spend on buying food and cloth. As a result, the life of people living alone will be better. On the other hand, section of living single is against our national traditions which has been continuing since the past periods, in the light of the fact that, it is not well-bred to leave our parents who have brought up us, when they get old. In particular, parents’ hear is broken when they are left. In a consequence of it, humans who have left their parents, will be punished for going away them by new generation in the future. When humans will have realized their mistakes, they will have been late, too. In conclusion, it is okay to live alone for adults, as, it is worthwhile to learn to explore to test the future and save money. On the contrary, it is no equal with customs of Uzbeks I the past.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern life, where anything is turning into modern, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are selecting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a fashion lifestyle. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed societies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more humans are choosing to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
than in the past, nowadays.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the forthcoming paragraphs, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the reasons of selections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
separately
of adults.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the whole mankind is learning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
in order to study to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Owing to the fact that, by staying single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can realize the most enigmatic parts of fashion life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have learned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. In a result of it, the rate of knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will increase in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Then, they will acquire bright future.

Second, young part of the humankind can find out saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in order not to borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from anybody, then, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in trouble with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Due to the fact that, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is reluctant to feel ashamed.
For instance
, collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend on buying food and cloth.
As a result
, the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
will be better.

On the other hand
, section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
single is against our national traditions which has been continuing since the past periods, in the light of the fact that, it is not well-bred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who have brought up us, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
hear
is broken
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. In a consequence of it, humans who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, will
be punished
for going away them by new generation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. When humans will have realized their mistakes, they will have been late, too.

In conclusion
, it is okay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
for adults, as, it is worthwhile to learn to explore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
On the contrary
, it is no equal with customs of Uzbeks I the past.
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IELTS essay my opinion positive and negative developmen essay

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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