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more people who are staying in cities do not perform regular exercise.

more people who are staying in cities do not perform regular exercise. 7Jkn3
Regular exercise plays a vital role in one’s life. Most of the public residing in urban societies are lacking in daily physical activities nowadays. There are many causes for this, working for a longer duration is one among them. However, in my opinion, offering proper physical sessions within the working can be counteracted to the problem. On the one hand, people are bound to work for a longer duration within the company which in turn leads lack of workout. To be more evident, when individual’s operating hours stretch over 10-12 hours, they are left with no energy and motivation for other activities which may require more energy. For instance, a person who works for almost a day will only try to spend some time with his family, friends or relatives while he does not even think to work out. Next, technological advancement and some third-party applications have made humans more hassle-free and making them adopt a sedentary lifestyle. For these reasons, physical fitness is tending to plunge dramatically. On the other hand, physical fitness is not to be neglected as there are long term advantages involved in it. To avoid these, employers need to facilitate gym to employees within the premises so that they can spend some leisure time with pursuing some exercise and refreshing themselves. In a long run, this will benefit with increased company’s profit and productivity of individuals by a huge margin. Moreover, one can adopt fitness activities themselves by using stairs instead of the lift, spending some free time by walking through the premises or by performing some activities while standing. To sum up, people themselves will have to realize the importance of a healthy lifestyle by incorporating exercise and make efforts in that direction now. A little bit of smart work and initiative on the part of the organization will lead to a healthy safe society.
Regular exercise plays a vital role in one’s life. Most of the public residing in urban societies are lacking in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
nowadays. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes for this, working for a longer duration is one among them.
However
, in my opinion, offering proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
sessions within the working can
be counteracted
to the problem.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are bound
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a longer duration within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which in turn leads lack of workout. To be more evident, when individual’s operating hours stretch over 10-12 hours, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no energy and motivation for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which may require more energy.
For instance
, a person who works for almost a day will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
try to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with his family, friends or relatives while he does not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out.
Next
, technological advancement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
third-party applications have made humans more hassle-free and making them adopt a sedentary lifestyle. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness is tending to plunge
dramatically
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness is not to
be neglected
as there are long term advantages involved in it. To avoid these, employers need to facilitate gym to employees within the premises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure time with pursuing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise and refreshing themselves. In a long run, this will benefit with increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s profit and productivity of individuals by a huge margin.
Moreover
, one can adopt fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
themselves by using stairs
instead
of the lift, spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free time by walking through the premises or by performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
while standing.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
themselves will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
realize the importance of a healthy lifestyle by incorporating exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts in that direction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. A
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and initiative on the part of the organization will lead to a healthy safe society.
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IELTS essay more people who are staying in cities do not perform regular exercise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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