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My favourite Tourist spot

My favourite Tourist spot DqKoE
Shimla is my favourite tourist destination and it is the capital city of Himachal pradesh. This beautiful city is surrounded by huge mountains and it located at an elevation of 1200 meters above sea level. Shimla is one of the most beautiful places in India. People from all over the world visit this city. It is also known as the summer capital of India. Tourists get many adventurous activities to participate in snow like skiing and surfing. The most famous spot is the Jakhoo hill, from where the entire city can be seen with a 360 degree view. People buy different types of sweaters as it is very famous for it. the landscape of the city is awesome and represents like a step by step construction. The Kalka - shimla railway route is amazing and travelling in train in that route gives breathtaking views. It is recognised as the UNESCO heritage site.
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Shimla


is my

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favourite


tourist destination and it is the capital city of

If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Himachal pradesh
. This

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beautiful


city

is surrounded


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by
huge mountains and it located at an elevation of 1200 meters above sea level.

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Shimla


is one of the most

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful


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places
in India.

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People


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from
all over the world visit this city. It
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is


also


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known
as the summer capital of India. Tourists

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get


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many


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adventurous
activities to participate in snow like skiing and surfing. The
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most


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous


spot is the

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Jakhoo


hill, from where the entire city can be

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen


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with
a 360 degree view.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy


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different


types of sweaters as it is

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very


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famous


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for
it. the landscape of the city is awesome and represents like a step by step construction. The

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Kalka


Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-


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shimla


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railway
route is amazing and travelling in train in that route gives breathtaking views. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised


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as
the UNESCO heritage site.

IELTS essay My favourite Tourist spot

Essay
  American English
39 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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