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My favorite place in the whole world, which makes me feel so close to Eden, unfortunately in not anywhere near San Diego.

My favorite place in the whole world, which makes me feel so close to Eden, unfortunately in not anywhere near San Diego. x1Rg
My favorite place in the whole world, which makes me feel so close to Eden, unfortunately in not anywhere near San Diego. It is located in northern Mexico about 12 hours from San Diego. This place is known by the name of San Carlos, do not think I like it because we have the same name. I like it because it makes me feel like I am in heaven. It has beautiful sandy beaches, abundant vegetation, and a golf course that has an incredible view. The people there are so kind and the cool thing about it is that everyone knows each other because it is such a small town. Some of the activities I do while I am there are fishing, going to the beach, and clubbing. Something else that makes me feel very special is that me grandparents live there. They have a house facing one of the most beautiful beaches there. On the other hand, one thing that I do not like about San Carlos is that during the summer, temperature raises all the way up to 120* F. and 75 percent humidity, I don't think so, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices in order to be in places that you like. As soon as the moon comes out everything starts to heat up, everybody dresses up really nice and we go to the only club in town. Since is a very small town everybody goes there and has a great time. On the next day we get up and do the same thing all over again. I think you get the idea why is San Carlos my favorite place.
My favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in the whole world, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to Eden, unfortunately in not anywhere near San Diego. It
is located
in northern Mexico about 12 hours from San Diego. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is known
by the name of San Carlos, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I like it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have the same name. I like it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me feel like I am in heaven. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
sandy beaches, abundant vegetation, and a golf course that has an incredible view. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind and the cool thing about it is that everyone knows each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
activities I do while I am there are fishing, going to the beach, and clubbing. Something else that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special is that me grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. They have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
facing one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
beaches there.
On the other hand
, one thing that I do not like about San Carlos is that during the summer, temperature raises all the way up to 120
Replace by the typographical symbol.
*
F. and 75 percent humidity, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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make
sacrifices in order to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that you like. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the moon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to heat up, everybody dresses up
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nice and
we go to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
club in town. Since is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town everybody goes there and has a great time. On the
next
day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up and do the same thing all over again. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
why is San Carlos my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
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IELTS essay My favorite place in the whole world, which makes me feel so close to Eden, unfortunately in not anywhere near San Diego.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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