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In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? wobE
Different generations do have different musical tastes. While older people tend to enjoy classical music, younger ones often prefer something more up-beat and trendy such as EDM or pop music. This explains why only a tiny number of youngsters attend classical music concerts. However, the attempt to encourage young people to go to such events is not necessary. To most young people, classical music seems eccentric and unappealing. Famous composers, such as Bach or Mozart, tended to start their songs with a hook, and refused to repeat it until the end. This denies people instant satisfaction but classical music lovers often say that it is worth the wait. Meanwhile, modern music tends to be simple and repetitive, and this constantly gives listeners a small dose of dopamine each time their favorite chunks are repeated. Given the catchy and arguably addictive nature of this music, it is understandable why youngsters have little desire to go to concerts playing classical compositions. Differences in musical preference are fundamentally not a problem, and so it is not necessary to encourage young people to learn more about the genres of music that they may otherwise dislike. This is because we naturally have a predilection for and associate ourselves with the music that we grow up hearing. In fact, the majority of older people cannot stand 'heavy metal music', which happens to be popular among a large section of the young population. This begs the question of why lay youngsters, most of whom listen to music purely for relaxation, should "learn' about the music of past generations. In conclusion, young people express little interest in classical music and rarely attend any concerts of this sort because they grow up listening to different kinds of music. This is a natural development, so it is unnecessary to meddle with their musical preferences by telling them to go to concerts that do not appeal to their ears. After all, classical music was simply trendy a few decades ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
generations do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
musical tastes. While older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, younger ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer something more up-beat and trendy such as EDM or pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tiny number of youngsters attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
.
However
, the attempt to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is not necessary. To most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
seems eccentric and unappealing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
composers, such as Bach or Mozart, tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their songs with a hook, and refused to repeat it until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
denies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instant satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lovers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say that it is worth the wait. Meanwhile, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tends to be simple and repetitive, and this
constantly
gives listeners a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
dose of dopamine each time their favorite chunks
are repeated
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the catchy and
arguably
addictive nature of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it is understandable why youngsters have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
desire to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
compositions. Differences in musical preference are
fundamentally
not a problem, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not necessary to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn more about the genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that they may
otherwise
dislike. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
naturally
have a predilection for and associate ourselves with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that we grow up hearing. In fact, the majority of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot stand 'heavy metal music', which happens to be popular among a large section of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population. This begs the question of why lay youngsters, most of whom listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
purely
for relaxation, should
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
learn' about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of past generations.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
express
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and rarely attend any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
of this sort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grow up listening to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This is a natural development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is unnecessary to meddle with their musical preferences by telling them to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
that do not appeal to their ears.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was
simply
trendy a few decades
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ago

IELTS essay In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
328 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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