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my close friend by Matlyuba Obilova

my close friend by Matlyuba Obilova wn07Y
Fatima, who is from Navai, has been my close friend for six years. I first met her when we took part the course in order to enter University. She asked me the way to the bookshop and we started talking. We have been friends ever since. Fatima is quite short and slim. She has got a round face with beautiful almond-shaped eyes and aheart-shaped nose, and wavy dark hair. Like many Turkish people, she has a great sense of style, so she always looks well-dressed even in casual clothes. Fatima is very outgoing. She is always friendly and loves to have fun. She has got a tremendous sense of humor and she always makes me laugh. Fatima is very keen on travelling. She likes living abroad and she spends a lot of time seeing skyscrapers. All in all, I'm glad to have Fatima as my friend. It is a pleasure to be with her and I really enjoy her company. I'm sure we'll always be close friends.
Fatima, who is from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navai
, has been my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for six years. I
first
met her when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
the course in order to enter University. She asked me the way to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bookshop and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
talking. We have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
ever since. Fatima is quite short and slim. She has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a round face with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
almond-shaped eyes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
aheart-shaped
nose, and wavy dark hair. Like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, she has a great sense of style,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she always looks well-dressed even in casual clothes. Fatima is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
outgoing. She is always friendly and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to have fun. She has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a tremendous sense of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
humor and
she always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me laugh. Fatima is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen on travelling. She likes living
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
abroad and
she spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time seeing skyscrapers. All in all, I'm glad to have Fatima as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. It is a pleasure to be with her and I
really
enjoy her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I'm sure we'll always be close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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IELTS essay my close friend by Matlyuba Obilova

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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