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My best mamorable birthday

My best mamorable birthday KyRG3
I think all people around the world love their birthday. Because, in that day we get a lot of gifts from our parents, relatives, friends and others. That is why our birthday will be mamorable for us. I have my mamorable birthday too. In my mamorable birthday I was slept. In that time my parents were decorated our hose and they made many gifts for me. When I woke up they shouted with saying: "Happy birthday to you. " I was very suprised from that. And all day I was very happy. I think all people's all birthday will be mamorable for them. Because, in that day they were born and breath from the air. In that day all people from our family will be happy. And that day will be amazing for them. Because of this facts our all birthdays will be mamorable for us.
I
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think
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their birthday.
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Because
, in that day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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a lot of
gifts from our parents, relatives, friends
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and others
.
That is
why our birthday will be
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mamorable
for us.

I have my
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mamorable
birthday too. In my
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mamorable
birthday I
was slept
. In that time my parents
were decorated
our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hose and
they made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gifts for me. When I woke up they shouted with saying:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Happy birthday to you.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
suprised
from that. And all day I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's all birthday will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
mamorable
for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in that day they
were born
and breath from the air. In that day all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from our family will be happy. And that day will be amazing for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
facts our all birthdays will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
mamorable
for us.

IELTS essay My best mamorable birthday

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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