Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Music is important for society , other beleive it as entertainment source. Disucss views and opinion

Music is important for society, other beleive it as entertainment source. Disucss views and opinion 9L60W
Music is a unique language that is understood by everyone on this planet. It is the soul of the Universe. Some people consider this art purely as a form of entertainment source, however, other individuals advocate that it has an essential role to play in various parts of the society, such as learning and connecting with different people. This essay will discuss both views before arriving at a logical conclusion. To begin with, there is no doubt that Music is one of the sources of entertainment. Firstly, It helps to uplift the mood and to cheer everyone up. One needs a change from the hectic and stressed schedule of office and school work. Songs help in relaxation of working atmosphere and, in some cases, assists one to recover from depression as well. In addition, in events like get-together and parties, people need a medium to connect and get entertained, and in such case, Music serves this purpose. For example, in wedding events, all sorts of people dance together on different songs and feel happy and energized. However, Music is not merely a source of entertainment. It also represents the culture and tradition of a country. Traditional Music like folk dance and Bhangra triggers a sense of togetherness and emotions among citizens and, therefore, helps to gel them together. This sense of togetherness helps the growth of a society and consequently, a nation as well. In addition, nowadays, Music is also a source of learning for the young ones. For example, children learn and grasp different poems quickly through rhymes. Furthermore, in some scenarios, Music also helps in uniting different countries and prevent warlike situations. For example, there were many instances when India and Pakistan were joined by the medium of Music. All in all, although, there is no doubt that Music is a source of entertainment, however, I am personally of the opinion that It has more meaning than just being as joyful source. Music assists in emotionally connecting not only the citizens of a nation but also, in some scenarios, countries as well and thus, prevent warlike situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a unique language that
is understood
by everyone on this planet. It is the soul of the Universe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider this art
purely
as a form of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
,
however
, other individuals advocate that it has an essential role to play in various parts of the society, such as learning and connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a logical conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of entertainment.
Firstly
, It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to uplift the mood and to cheer everyone up. One needs a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from the hectic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
schedule of office and school work. Songs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in relaxation of working atmosphere and, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, assists one to recover from depression
as well
.
In addition
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-together and parties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a medium to connect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entertained, and in such case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
serves this purpose.
For example
, in wedding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dance together on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
songs and feel happy and energized.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is not
merely
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of entertainment. It
also
represents the culture and tradition of a country. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
like folk dance and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhangra
triggers a sense of togetherness and emotions among citizens and,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to gel them together. This sense of togetherness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the growth of a society and
consequently
, a nation
as well
.
In addition
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of learning for the young ones.
For example
, children learn and grasp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
poems
quickly
through rhymes.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenarios,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
warlike situations.
For example
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances when India and Pakistan were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
by the medium of Music.

All in all, although, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of entertainment,
however
, I am
personally
of the opinion that It has more meaning than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being as joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
assists in
emotionally
connecting not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the citizens of a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenarios, countries
as well
and
thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
warlike situations.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Music is important for society, other beleive it as entertainment source. Disucss views and opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts