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Music has vast followers from the older time while people think that some rap is a way to connect people of various religions and ages.

Music has vast followers from the older time while people think that some rap is a way to connect people of various religions and ages. JVRMa
Music has vast followers from the older time while people think that some music is a way to connect people of different religions and ages. I partially agree with this statement. In my opinion, sweet music is a good way to change mind and good for health as a good relationship in society, although loud music or annoying sound create a problem between the people. People in this time enjoy multimedia and Dolby sound system to make mind, good health, also all civilians are heard it with the piece. Due to the technology we see the variation in song and make it adorable for all. According to the song list, many singers from different casts like Hindus, Muslims, Christians. All are admired by citizens because of their voice also their patterns of life followed by people. In ancient times the king also prefer music and dance performance, which is presented by the lower cast but it is also appreciated by all. Further, different people have their own choice according to the life pattern and the fact is they have variety in music. For instance, poping, rocking, romantic, and cultural songs. Due to this reason, some songs make only noise which is avoided by most of the older rare public like it, so loud sound break relationship or became a reason of fight. What is more, the cultural song may extinct or heard by a lower proportion of the population so it is annoyed for the modern generation. In conclusion, because of diversity in people, they heard according to their choice but not all adapt Morden song same as the older song. So, it has benefits as well as drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has vast followers from the older time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a way to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions and ages. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In my opinion, sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mind and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for health as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationship in society, although loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or annoying sound create a problem between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in this time enjoy multimedia and Dolby sound system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health,
also
all civilians
are heard
it with the piece. Due to the technology we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the variation in song and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it adorable for all. According to the song list,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
singers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
casts like Hindus, Muslims, Christians. All
are admired
by citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their voice
also
their patterns of life followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In ancient times the king
also
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and dance performance, which
is presented
by the lower cast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
appreciated by all.

Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice according to the life pattern and the fact is they have variety in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
poping
, rocking, romantic, and cultural songs. Due to this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
noise which
is avoided
by most of the older rare public like it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
loud sound break relationship or became a reason of fight.

What is more
, the cultural song may extinct or heard by a lower proportion of the population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
is annoyed
for the modern generation.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they heard according to their choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all adapt
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morden
song same as the older song.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it has benefits
as well
as drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Music has vast followers from the older time while people think that some rap is a way to connect people of various religions and ages.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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