Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A Hard Day with my Friend in the Desert

A Hard Day with my Friend in the Desert 96kLw
One day me and my friends decide to go to the desert. We take everything that we need for this trip like food, power bank, games. When we arrive I re mm embed that I forgot the water, so we did n had anything to drink it. There wasn't Telephone signal. It was a sunny day, so we couldn't struggle this obstacle. Our bodies respond for that by sweating. Finally we saw a car and we ask him to help us. This experian thought me to be more responsible.
One day me and my friends

decide to go to the desert.

We take everything that we need for

this trip like food, power bank, games.

When we arrive I re mm embed

that I forgot the water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we did n

had anything to drink it. There wasn't

Telephone signal. It was a sunny day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we

couldn't struggle this obstacle.

Our bodies respond for that by

sweating.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
car and


we ask him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us. This

Possible spelling mistake found.
experian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
me to be more

responsible.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay A Hard Day with my Friend in the Desert

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Most people like watching TV instead of reading books or doing some useful activities. Discuss both sides of this arguments
    In the technology age, the role of mass media is so paramount that the life cannot be imagined without. The increasing rate of television can even be seen the world over. The claim that watching television is harmful for teenagers is an argumentative issue that is both supported or refuted by many p...
  • 5.5band
    Did ragging should be banned or not?
    College Life plays a very important role in everyones life. But in these days the reports by students of being ragged by their seniors are increasing ragularly. Therefore, most of the people think, this trend of ragging should be banned, but on the other hand some people feels that it should not be ...
  • 6band
    When designing a building, the function is more important than the outward appearance.
    Some people opine that during designing any building, the function is commonly more significant than the exterior design. From my perspective, I agree with this statement for a number of reasons. To begin with, it has to be said that a beauty and unique appearance is the first thing people fell for...
  • 5band
    describe a favourite job that you would like to do when you finish university
    I have always wanted to become an actor for any kind of film from a premiere to blockbusters when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. The process of acting and preparing for a film is what I find intriguing and fascinating. I’d probably enjoy working and being trained in such a flexible and dynamic e...
  • 6band
    Man goes through a lot of changes
    Man goes through a lot of changes starting from the time when he depicted a herd of to current sitting on his desk with a cup of coffee and coding however the technology has been enhanced a lot. The 20th century has made so many changes in developing computer generations in addition to this has reac...
  • 6band
    Man goes through a plethora of changes starting
    Man goes through a plethora of changes starting from the time when he depicted a herd of to current sitting on his desk with a cup of coffee and coding however the technology has been enhanced a lot. The 20th century has made consequently a plethora of changes in developing computer generations in a...