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Music has an efects on human which helps different coutnry to come closer. What extend you agree or disagree

Music has an efects on human which helps different coutnry to come closer. What extend you agree or disagree K3JQL
Music is one of the wonderful medium which has an extraordinary effect on human mind for which people often listen to it while they are in relaxed mood or whenever they felt exhausted, even they do not though who is the singer or this one belongs to which country. It is commonly believed by a number of people that music can close-up the gap between countries. I firmly agree with this notion To begin with, in this fast track world every individual is busy with their work. People often listen songs for their recreation purposes However, that time they do not consider the songs is originated from which country. If, any songs able to touch their heart obviously they listen it several times and try to go depth of the song. Such as singer, originate country about the country history. In this way a person, as well as community, get involved to discover all these things. For an instance. Hindi song is popular among the all south Asian country though it is originated from India same way. World cup theme song sung by Shakira was a highly popular different part of the world Another point, many countries practicing sharing cultural activity so they organized many programs every year to share other countries songs, dance and other musical instruments which also helps to end up the gap between the nations. SAARC is an is example seven south Asian countries organize SAARC summit every year and there from every nation has to participate with their musical team to show up their tardyon and culture among other countries and its help to makes a good relation among the countries To sum up, it is obvious that music can eliminate our stress so, regardless of who is the singer or country of origin people commonly accept the song if it touches them and by this way, we can explore our knowledge about other culture and which leads to being more enthusiastic about other community
Music is one of the wonderful medium which has an extraordinary effect on human mind for which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listen to it while they are in relaxed mood or whenever they felt exhausted, even they do not though who is the singer or this one belongs to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
commonly
believed by a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that music can close-up the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
notion


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
world every individual is busy with their work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listen songs for their recreation purposes
However
, that time they do not consider the songs
is originated
from which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If, any songs able to touch their heart
obviously
they listen it several times and try to go depth of the song. Such as singer, originate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
history. In this way a person,
as well
as community,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved to discover all these things. For an instance. Hindi song is popular among the all south Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
though it
is originated
from India same way. World cup theme song sung by Shakira was a
highly
popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world

Another point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
practicing sharing cultural activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs every year to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
songs, dance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
musical instruments which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up the gap between the nations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
SAARC
is an is example seven south Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
organize
Possible spelling mistake found.
SAARC
summit every year and there from every nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
participate with their musical team to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tardyon
and culture among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation among the countries

To sum up, it is obvious that music can eliminate our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, regardless of who is the singer or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of origin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commonly
accept the song if it touches them and by this way, we can explore our knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
culture and which leads to being more enthusiastic about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
community
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IELTS essay Music has an efects on human which helps different coutnry to come closer. What extend you agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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