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Music could deliver artists message through us and do not matter our ages or cultures. I believe that music is one of the best way to make us closer as well understand more about others cultures

Music could deliver artists message through us and do not matter our ages or cultures. I believe that music is one of the best way to make us closer as well understand more about others cultures E9KX3
Music could deliver artists message through us and do not matter our ages or cultures. I believe that music is one of the best way to make us closer as well understand more about others cultures, with two things I have listed, I agree with this opinion. Music is very diverse, Music could inspire us in many ways. In every countries their have different types of music or different styles. With techology and social media we could acess to numerous number of songs, artists around the world, we could learn a lot of things or through a song not only that it would give us chances to explore more about different cultures. For instance, Eminem is mine favorite rapper, Listening to Eminem have given me a chance to learn more about American cultures in the 2000s. In addition, I have made friend with some foreign friends who also listen to Eminem and that helps me understand more about others cultures even though we do not live in the same country and we are miles away but despite all that we still get closer in some ways. Music is available for all age. In the music world, there are countless song that appropriate for everyone. Such us a song about family or about holidays would bring our family members closer. Moreover, My family on New year eve always listen to “Tet den roi” that song make us feel more like a “family” and make the atmosphere more joyful. To conclude, music does bring us more closer. In some occasions with just a song would change our mood and music has given us a chance to know more about each other in our country and outside our country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
could deliver artists message through us and do not matter our ages or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
closer
as well
understand more about others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, with two things I have listed, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Music is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
could inspire us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. In every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
their have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles. With
Possible spelling mistake found.
techology
and social media we could
Possible spelling mistake found.
acess
to numerous number of songs, artists around the world, we could learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things or through a song not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that it would give us chances to explore more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For instance
, Eminem is mine favorite rapper, Listening to Eminem have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me a chance to learn more about American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in the 2000s.
In addition
, I have made friend with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign friends who
also
listen to Eminem and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me understand more about others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
even though
we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
we are miles away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
despite all that we
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
closer
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.

Music is available for all age. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
world, there are countless song that appropriate for everyone. Such us a song about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or about holidays would bring our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
closer
.
Moreover
, My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on New year eve always listen to “Tet den
Possible spelling mistake found.
roi
” that song
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel more like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“family”
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the atmosphere more joyful.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does bring us more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
closer
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasions with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a song would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our mood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a chance to know more about each other in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and outside our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country
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IELTS essay Music could deliver artists message through us and do not matter our ages or cultures. I believe that music is one of the best way to make us closer as well understand more about others cultures

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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