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Museums, as a place that can provide both educational and recreational means, has attracted a number of people to visit. Therefore, there are museums that charge visitors while the others are not. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages by charging ticket fee because of several reasons.

Museums, as a place that can provide both educational and recreational means, has attracted a number of people to visit. Therefore, there are museums that charge visitors while the others are not. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages by charging ticket fee because of several reasons. 9ad5w
Museums, as a place that can provide both educational and recreational means, has attracted a number of people to visit. Therefore, there are museums that charge visitors while the others are not. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages by charging ticket fee because of several reasons. There are two benefits that resulted, which are the museum can earn money and the people are more committed. If the visitors are charged, the museum will have a source of income. For instance, the revenue can be used for maintenance that will result in increasing the quality of services. The second benefit is the visitors are more likely to be committed because they have a motivation to visit. When it cost us money, we tend to have motives and goals. Then, we will pay more attention when we are inside. On the other hand, it has several drawbacks too. Not all people can afford the ticket, and it will give a sense of exclusiveness for the ones who are interested in learning. In fact, there are people who really want to know and learn about history but do not have access just because they do not have enough money. It is also shows that the museum is not inclusive for the general public, but only for the one that has money. In conclusion, even though there are disadvantages caused by the policy that the customers must pay for the entrance ticket, the advantages are more significant. It can add another source of funds and it can lead to make the customer pay more attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
, as a place that can provide both educational and recreational means, has attracted a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit.
Therefore
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that charge visitors while the others are not. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages by charging ticket fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.

There are two benefits that resulted, which are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can earn money and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more committed. If the visitors
are charged
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
will have a source of income.
For instance
, the revenue can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for maintenance that will result in increasing the quality of services. The second benefit is the visitors are more likely to
be committed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a motivation to visit. When it cost us money, we tend to have motives and goals. Then, we will pay more attention when we are inside.

On the other hand
, it has several drawbacks too. Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford the ticket, and it will give a sense of exclusiveness for the ones who
are interested
in learning. In fact, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
really
want to know and learn about history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not have access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not inclusive for the
Consider using "public".
general public
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the one that has money.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are disadvantages caused by the policy that the customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for the entrance ticket, the advantages are more significant. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
another source of funds and it can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the customer pay more attention.
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IELTS essay Museums, as a place that can provide both educational and recreational means, has attracted a number of people to visit. Therefore, there are museums that charge visitors while the others are not. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages by charging ticket fee because of several reasons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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