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How can we encourage people to accept vaccination when they think it is dangerous

How can we encourage people to accept vaccination when they think it is dangerous 0n0KO
Nowadays, coronavirus has spread all over the world and it has affected many countries. Numerous studies have been conducted to prevent Covid-19 infection, and long-awaited vaccines have been developed, but vaccines were first used in rich countries and then in poor countries. However, people did not agree to receive the vaccine. Throughout the essay, I express similar problems and own solution and opinions to then. First of all, the biggest problem is the production of vaccines in foreign countries. What problems can you say this is? The cost of these vaccines will continue to rise until they reach villages. The main solution is for vaccines to be produced in every country. For example, the first vaccine was developed in China and they used the vaccine successfully. Exported the vaccine to other countries and improved its post-Covid-19 status. On the other hand, many people continue to have concerns and doubts about the overwhelming evidence that they are safe and effective. Experts say it is important to talk with vaccine-hesitant friends and family about the need for everyone to get vaccinated so we can end the pandemic. However, the way you speak with a vaccine-hesitant person makes a big difference in helping them decide to get vaccinated or not. Sharing or arguing does not work. Instead, listen to their concerns, give them the facts and then let them decide. To sum up, people should not be afraid of the vaccine. The vaccine is the best tool to protect people from various viruses. In my opinion, we need to explain to people that vaccine is not harmful and then its use is beneficial to use
Nowadays, coronavirus has spread all over the world and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Numerous studies have
been conducted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Covid-19 infection, and long-awaited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
have
been developed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
were
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and then in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
. Throughout the essay, I express similar problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solution and opinions to then.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the biggest problem is the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. What problems can you say this is? The cost of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
will continue to rise until they reach villages. The main solution is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
to
be produced
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
was developed
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
China and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
successfully
. Exported the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
its post-Covid-19 status.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to have concerns and doubts about the overwhelming evidence that they are safe and effective. Experts say it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to talk with vaccine-hesitant friends and family about the need for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccinated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the pandemic.
However
, the way you speak with a vaccine-hesitant person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in helping them decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccinated or not. Sharing or arguing does not work.
Instead
, listen to their concerns, give them the facts and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them decide.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not be afraid of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
is the best tool to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various viruses. In my opinion, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
is not harmful and then its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is beneficial to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
use
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IELTS essay How can we encourage people to accept vaccination when they think it is dangerous

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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