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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. MMMb6
Museums and art galleries have developed a lot lately since their focus is not only on their local history but also on the international part of artwork. However, some believe that their main concentration should be on the former rather than the latter. Although their point of view is understandable because of their patriotic features, this essay will argue why it is also vital for these organizations to display the pieces from other countries to immigrants. Patriotism (peitrietizem) is seen in almost every country around the world, which is why many people opine that (opajn) the collection should showcase only the artefacts and artworks of the host country. It is natural for one to feel love towards their own country. Thus, their insecurities tend to appear when histories of other nationalities are present in museums or art galleries. It is crucial for those people that national visitors, including pupils, gain knowledge in regards to their culture, heritage (heritixh) and country. By doing that, both groups might be able to relate to the items that they see which will inspire them to foster their nationalism. However, not every person that decides to look at art closely is originally from the country they currently live in. Let’s take immigrants. Some of them may be quite inquisitive which increases the desire to learn more about their motherland. For instance, Indian children who choose to leave their birthplace and move to Australia for economic opportunities don’t get the chance to master their knowledge about their place of origin which is really close to their hearts. Overall, the idea that every single person who lives in a country has an intense interest in expanding their knowledge in regards to the history of that particular country is ill-informed, considering the needs of many immigrants. To conclude, this essay argued why art galleries and museums should show artworks and cultures from other countries, while also concentrating on their nation’s art.
Museums and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries have developed a lot lately since their focus is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their local history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the international part of artwork.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that their main concentration should be on the former
rather
than the latter. Although their point of view is understandable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their patriotic features, this essay will argue why it is
also
vital for these organizations to display the pieces from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to immigrants.

Patriotism (
Possible spelling mistake found.
peitrietizem
) is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
around the world, which is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that (
Possible spelling mistake found.
opajn
) the collection should showcase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and artworks of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is natural for one to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, their insecurities tend to appear when histories of other nationalities are present in museums or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries. It is crucial for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that national visitors, including pupils, gain knowledge
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
their culture, heritage (
Possible spelling mistake found.
heritixh
) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. By doing that, both groups might be able to relate to the items that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
which will inspire them to foster their nationalism.

However
, not every person that decides to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
closely
is
originally
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
currently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take immigrants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may be quite inquisitive which increases the desire to learn more about their motherland.
For instance
, Indian children who choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their birthplace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Australia for economic opportunities don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to master their knowledge about their place of origin which is
really
close to their hearts.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that every single person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has an intense interest in expanding their knowledge
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the history of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is ill-informed, considering the needs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immigrants.

To conclude
, this essay argued why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries and museums should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
artworks and cultures from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, while
also
concentrating on their nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
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IELTS essay Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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