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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.9

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 9
Museums and art galleries have long been at the forefront of preserving and representing cultural values and histories, being utilized by almost all countries throughout the centuries. However, whether they should mainly represent traditional and local cultures or display an international collection is open to dispute. I personally believe that traditional museums should focus on outlining the cultural aspects and artworks of the country while having separate museums with items from other countries does not hurt the national feeling. To begin with, educating people about the history and tradition of a country is one of the primary reasons we have museums in the first place. They conserve important cultural specimens, artefacts, artworks and other items to boast about our past and help researchers dig deeper into the history. Such museums, which primarily signify our tradition, should comprise things we, as a nation, can be proud of, rather than having internationally acclaimed artworks or sculptures. For instance, many national museums in Europe solely focus on preserving artefacts and artworks from the country only and they are quite popular among international tourists. Having said that, the concept of the museum in the modern era has changed to a great extent. We now have aviation museums, war memorials, motor museums, computer museums, archaeological museums and the list goes on. To make this type of museums popular and useful, we have to have international collections. For instance, the Motor Museum in Australia has a collection from more than 20 countries and they serve their purpose just fine. Museums with international compilation often attract tourists and can be a great way to promote tourism. To conclude, national and traditional museums should focus on nurturing national history while we also need museums with international collections to make it more functional and famous. One does not necessarily diminish the necessity and usefulness of another category.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
and art galleries have long been at the forefront of preserving and representing cultural values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
histories
,
being utilized
by almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
throughout the centuries.
However
, whether they should
mainly
represent traditional and local cultures or display an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collection
is open to dispute. I
personally
believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should focus on outlining the cultural aspects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
while having separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with items from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
does not hurt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
feeling.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and tradition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is one of the primary reasons we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the
first
place. They conserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cultural specimens,
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
and other items to boast about our past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
researchers dig deeper into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, which
primarily
signify our tradition, should comprise things we, as a nation, can be proud of,
rather
than having
internationally
acclaimed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
or sculptures.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in Europe
solely
focus on preserving
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
only and
they are quite popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourists.

Having said that, the concept of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in the modern era has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to a great extent. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have aviation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, war memorials, motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, archaeological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and the list goes on. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
popular and useful, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collections
.
For instance
, the Motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in Australia has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collection
from more than 20
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries and
they serve their purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
compilation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attract tourists and can be a great way to promote tourism.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should focus on nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
while we
also
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collections
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more functional and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. One does not
necessarily
diminish the necessity and usefulness of another category.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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