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Museum is increasingly becoming important in many ways. Still many people argue that maintaining it is very much disadvantageous amd some think that it has many utilities in a society. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Museum is increasingly becoming important in many ways. Still many people argue that maintaining it is very much disadvantageous amd some think that it has many utilities in a society. xPyno
Museums reveal the history, involving the way of living, of every society or country. Earlier, its importance was not much valued but now people use them as a mode of education. However, maintenance of museums need lot of awareness, money, information, etcetera. Having vast range of knowledge about past is necessary for one who wants to explore distinct places, because this helps an individual to tackle with problems those may occur during researching, for this visiting museum is the best way. Moreover, students get practical knowledge of various things from museums like during study there are many chapters related to extinct spe6and fossils of some species are present in museums. In spite of having importance in the society, some people argue that museums have many drawbacks as plenty of vigilance is needed to maintain them in a proper way. For instance, if one is not careful while handling historic things, it may cause destruction of that possession. Moreover, maintenance of museums need vast range of money, as authorities have to pay to workers and for protecting things from destruction. Museum, in my opinion, plays role in both education and tourism sector because some people visit different museums to attain knowledge about past and some for spending holiday which play role in increasing the economy of the country. But instead of spending chunk of money over museums, people use it to tackle with other problems as now one gets education about past from internet. To brief, until museums are not maintained, people like explorers face difficulties in finding variety of things, so the importance of museums may not be neglected.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
reveal the history, involving the way of living, of every society or country. Earlier, its importance was not much valued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as a mode of education.
However
, maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
need
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
awareness, money, information, etcetera. Having vast range of knowledge about past is necessary for one who wants to explore distinct places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an individual to tackle with problems those may occur during researching, for this visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is the best way.
Moreover
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical knowledge of various things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
like during study there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chapters related to extinct spe6and fossils of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species are present in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having importance in the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of vigilance
is needed
to maintain them
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
For instance
, if one is not careful while handling historic things, it may cause destruction of that possession.
Moreover
, maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
need vast range of money, as authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay to workers and for protecting things from destruction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, in my opinion, plays role in both education and tourism sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to attain knowledge about past and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for spending holiday which play role in increasing the economy of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
instead
of spending chunk of money over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to tackle with other problems as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
education about past from internet. To brief, until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not maintained,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like explorers face difficulties in finding variety of things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
may not
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay Museum is increasingly becoming important in many ways. Still many people argue that maintaining it is very much disadvantageous amd some think that it has many utilities in a society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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