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In many developing countries, there is a problem with quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v.1

In many developing countries, there is a problem with quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1
Over the past few years, it has been noticed that the waste from the construction business and the harmful chemicals from industries are affecting the quality of air and water in most of the developing nations. This essay will propose some solutions which might help to minimize these problems. One of the most pressing problems caused by construction companies and industries is water pollution. This is because these factories release contaminated water directly into rivers and lakes, which is the source of water consumption for many city citizens. By doing this, it not only infiltrates the quality of water but also adds the harmful bacteria in it. If this water is consumed by people, it will result in many chronic illnesses which can put people’s lives in danger. To tackle this issue, the government should enforce a law that restricts such industries to release water directly into lakes and instead make them install the water filtration machine for abstracting the deleterious chemicals. Another concern which is brought by this phenomenon is air pollution. Particularly, this happens because of releasing harmful gases such as carbon mono-oxide in the atmosphere which can be dangerous for the people living in the city. Dealing with this issue involves the government to enact strictest rules regarding not to disturb the quality of air and if they happen to do then these companies should construct their towers at a high altitude so that the chemicals are released high in the sky. Besides this, the government should also encourage citizens to plant more trees to improve air quality. In conclusion, although the problem of bad quality and water which results from industrial wastes and construction companies is insurmountable, however, the government should enforce some strict regulations to deter such factories from adulterating the air and water. Additionally, industry workers or nearby citizens should be motivated to have more greenery around these places.
Over the past few years, it has
been noticed
that the waste from the construction business and the harmful chemicals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in most of the developing nations. This essay will propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to minimize these problems.

One of the most pressing problems caused by construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these factories release contaminated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
directly
into rivers and lakes, which is the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
city citizens. By doing this, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
infiltrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
the harmful bacteria in it. If this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is consumed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it will result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chronic illnesses which can put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. To tackle this issue, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should enforce a law that restricts such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
directly
into lakes and
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them install the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
filtration machine for abstracting the deleterious chemicals.

Another concern which
is brought
by this phenomenon is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.
Particularly
, this happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of releasing harmful gases such as carbon mono-oxide in the atmosphere which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the city. Dealing with this issue involves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to enact
A determiner is probably missing here: "the strictest".
strictest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regarding not to disturb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and if they happen to do then these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should construct their towers at a high altitude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the chemicals
are released
high in the sky.
Besides
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
encourage citizens to plant more trees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality.

In conclusion
, although the problem of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which results from industrial wastes and construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is insurmountable,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict regulations to deter such factories from adulterating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
workers or nearby citizens should
be motivated
to have more greenery around these places.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is a problem with quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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