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movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour.

movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour. G9kmx
Nowadays, a variety of factors affect young generation. Young people's behaviour might be strongly impacted by movies and television being a hotly-debated topic. To a certain extent, I agree that movies and television may have a undesirable influence on the actions of young people. However, I also think that the youngsters can learn the numerous information by watching television. On the one hand, watching too many films featuring violent or sensitive moments is quite risky for young individuals. Because they are easily influenced and deluded, they lose control of their behavior. For example, children enjoy watching Superman movies; they see them as idols and learn from what they see in the movies such as fighting. Furthermore, if students regard those who specialize in bullying as really cool in movies about school violence, they will lack the awareness of right and wrong to follow. Nevertheless, I believe that young people can enhance their knowledge by watching suitable TV channels. Because, there are so many different types TV channels, we may pick and choose the ones they can watch. In fact, there are innumerable new things that may be learnt to help us everyday on educational television. For example, the youngsters can learn English by IELTS Face-off (IFO) channel in VTV7, etc. Finally, while there are various threats to watching television, it is difficult to overlook its benefits. Otherwise, it is up to them to select acceptable television channels and discriminate between excellent and bad learning opportunities.
Nowadays, a variety of factors affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
might be
strongly
impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
being a
hotly
-debated topic. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
may have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
undesirable influence on the actions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the youngsters can learn the numerous information by watching television.

On the one hand, watching too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films featuring violent or sensitive moments is quite risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are
easily
influenced and deluded, they lose control of their behavior.
For example
, children enjoy watching Superman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
; they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as idols and learn from what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
such as fighting.
Furthermore
, if students regard those who specialize in bullying as
really
cool in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
about school violence, they will lack the awareness of right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to follow.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enhance their knowledge by watching suitable TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, we may pick and choose the ones they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. In fact, there are innumerable new things that may be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us everyday on educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For example
, the youngsters can learn English by IELTS Face-off (IFO)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
in VTV7, etc.

Finally
, while there are various threats to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, it is difficult to overlook its benefits.
Otherwise
, it is up to them to select acceptable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and discriminate between excellent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
learning opportunities.
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IELTS essay movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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