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Personal Statement for Automotive Engineering with Business Management

Personal Statement for Automotive Engineering with Business Management PR2dE
The focus of my academic career has been to gain knowledge in all facets of automotive engineering and management side. My academic record as well as my extracurricular shows that my interest in both automotive and management have worked side by side. I have chosen Masters in Automotive Engineering with Business Management in your university of the bath because engineering is my first passion. As an engineering student, I should learn from the other side of the world to make me more experienced and knowledgeable. I am fascinated by vehicle technologies and how they work, but I want to talk about other areas like marketing, management, etc to finalize my career. Your coursework will focus on development across disciplines that benefit your career in automotive engineering management. I am a dedicated student with a demonstrated history of academic achievement, I have strong organizational and written communication skills, and I have developed self-confidence in my oral presentation abilities. Best of all, I am truly passionate about becoming a fully-qualified automotive engineer with a management background in it. My experience includes analyzing problem-solving skills, technical writing capabilities, participatory learning, and assembling "outside the box" solutions to problems. I am a hardworking and determined individual and I can master quickly and make good decisions. This is because I will manage my time well and stay organized. I will also be short on sleep at times, but that is the nature of the automotive business. Moreover, my career goals are well-defined and I know where I want to go in life with this course. After this degree, I plan to enter the automotive business management industry using my knowledge of engineering and statistics.
The focus of my academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
has been to gain knowledge in all facets of automotive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
side. My academic record
as well
as my extracurricular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that my interest in both automotive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
have worked side by side. I have chosen Masters in Automotive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineering
with Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
in your university of the bath
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
is my
first
passion. As an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
student, I should learn from the other side of the world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me more experienced and knowledgeable. I
am fascinated
by vehicle technologies and how they work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I want to talk about other areas like marketing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
, etc to finalize my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Your coursework will focus on development across disciplines that benefit your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in automotive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
management.

I am a dedicated student with a demonstrated history of academic achievement, I have strong organizational and written communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and I have developed self-confidence in my oral presentation abilities. Best of all, I am
truly
passionate about becoming a
fully
-qualified automotive engineer with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
background in it. My experience includes analyzing problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, technical writing capabilities, participatory learning, and assembling
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
outside the box
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
solutions to problems.

I am a hardworking and determined individual and I can master
quickly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I will manage my time well and stay organized. I will
also
be short on sleep at times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is
the nature of the automotive business.
Moreover
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals are well-defined and I know where I want to go in life with this course. After this degree, I plan to enter the automotive business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
industry using my knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
and statistics.
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IELTS essay Personal Statement for Automotive Engineering with Business Management

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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