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Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles. bejl
Motorcycle accidents are among the main causes of fatalities among teenagers. Others do believe that in order to avoid such, the authorities must prohibit people ages 24 below to drive the later vehicle. I partially agree with the proposition. This essay will explain the help motorcycle needs as well as my opinion. To begin with, motorcycle related accidents among teenagers and young adults are common nowadays. This is due to the fact that, motorbikes are way less expensive than owning a car. Which happened to be affordable for people especially to youngsters, thus it is easier to purchase. Aside from this, many people consider this vehicle as way more convenient as its structure is more lean compare to some vehicles, most people do prefer this because they can use it to pass through small congested streets. Also maintaining it, is considered as more cheaper. However, eventhough it has advantages, it also have some detrimental disadvantages. Primarily, it is the fact that it is more prone to accident, due to its built. This is usually evidenced on instances wherein there are crashes between motorcycles or cars, the car driver would always insist that he was not able to notice a bike running through thus resulting to a collision blaming the small size of the vehicle which is opposite to cars which are more larger. Usually on the given situation, the motorcycle driver is at high risk of being a casualty for multiple injuries and sometimes even death. Aside from this, since it is used by youngsters, those who are irresponsible still chooses to drive even under influence of alcohol. This can be proven by high statistics which shows that drunk driving is the leading cause of death among teenagers. Given the the arguments above, I still do think that motorcycle once used responsibly is more beneficial rather than harmful. Also, it can also be used as additional means of livelihood, as modeled by delivery men who most of the time owns a motorcycle rather than a car. But, government must initiate actions to protect motorcycle drivers. They must implement rules and regulation at road laws to ensure that every driver at road are being responsible. Actions such as creating a motorcyle lane, and implementation of laws of the road are essential in decreasing accidents caused by vehicles. To conclude, people under 24 can still be allowed to drive motorcyles, as long as it will be used responsibly and authorities must ensure that driving safely is well known not only by authorities who will make laws to protect people but also the drivers itself.
Motorcycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are among the main causes of fatalities among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Others do believe that in order to avoid such, the authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
ages
24 below to drive the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the proposition. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
motorcycle needs
as well
as my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, motorcycle related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and young adults are common nowadays.
This is due to the fact that
, motorbikes are way less expensive than owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. Which happened to be affordable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
to youngsters,
thus
it is easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Aside from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
as way more convenient as its structure is more lean compare to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do prefer this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to pass through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
congested streets.
Also
maintaining it,
is considered
as
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
.

However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
it has advantages, it
also
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental disadvantages.
Primarily
, it is the fact that it is more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
, due to its built. This is
usually
evidenced on instances wherein there are crashes between motorcycles or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
would always insist that he was not able to notice a bike running through
thus
resulting to a collision blaming the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
which is opposite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which are
Use only "larger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more larger
.
Usually
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
situation, the motorcycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
is at high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being a casualty for multiple injuries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even death. Aside from this, since it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by youngsters, those who are irresponsible
still
chooses to drive even under influence of alcohol. This can
be proven
by high statistics which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that drunk driving is the leading cause of death among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
arguments above, I
still
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that motorcycle once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
responsibly
is more beneficial
rather
than harmful.
Also
, it can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as additional means of livelihood, as modeled by delivery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who most of the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a motorcycle
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
initiate actions to protect motorcycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation at road laws to ensure that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
at road are being responsible. Actions such as creating a
Possible spelling mistake found.
motorcyle
lane, and implementation of laws of the road are essential in decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
caused by vehicles.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 24 can
still
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drive
Possible spelling mistake found.
motorcyles
, as long as it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
responsibly
and authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that driving
safely
is well known not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by authorities who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
laws to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
itself.
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IELTS essay Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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