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"Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now? " Give your opinion in no less than 250 words. v.1

"Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now? " Give your opinion in no less than 250 words. v. 1
There’s no denying how important a position the mother plays in the upbringing of her children. But torn by modern economics, mothers are leaving home for professional practice, raising the question “who now takes care of the children? ” In my belief, though, all efforts to replace the proverbial mother are destined to be futile. Observing Nature, scientifically or a wise, tells us that being a parent, if it were a social role, is ideally possible by the child bearing female and others may only be nurses or patrons. The physiological and psychological exclusiveness of the mother means all the other social entities and all the greatness of science and civilization can only supplement, and never replace, her part in the upbringing of children. Anyone else trying to don her role is simply unnatural. But, of course, there is opinion on the contrary also. Modern science flaunts its age old practice of replicating nature and natural processes. Now more than ever humans and their society are evolving frequently against the tide of Nature, and civilization sustains this evolution. Such evolution has also effected the socioeconomic distinction of men and women. Now in the industry women are producing as much as men do. So “women are better off in the house” is no longer true. While such human evolution is true and should morally be supported, going against Mother Nature, when we’re clearly not in a position to, is immoral. Science has not yet found a biological and psycho-social alternative for the natural mother. And while gender equality is great, it never means fusion of the two poles of our species. I don’t believe science never has strived to eliminate sex because it is simply impracticable. So men and women, so uniformly productive as they recently are, don’t have to utilize their worth in the same end of civilization. If one person, or sex, is naturally gifted to play a special and vital role in the society, it is her duty to thrive in it. I therefore conclude that in a child’s life its mother is irreplaceable, and, hence, it is she who should rear her child.
There’s no denying how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
a position the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
plays in the upbringing of her children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
torn by modern economics, mothers are leaving home for professional practice, raising the question “who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
takes care of the children? ” In my belief, though, all efforts to replace the proverbial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
are destined
to be futile.

Observing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nature
,
scientifically
or a wise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that being a parent, if it were a social role, is
ideally
possible by the child bearing female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be nurses or patrons. The physiological and psychological exclusiveness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
means all the other social entities and all the greatness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and civilization can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supplement, and never replace, her part in the upbringing of children. Anyone else trying to don her role is
simply
unnatural.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
of course
, there is opinion
on the contrary
also
. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
flaunts its age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
practice of replicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and natural processes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
more than ever humans and their society are evolving
frequently
against the tide of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nature
, and civilization sustains this evolution. Such evolution has
also
effected the socioeconomic distinction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in the industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are producing as much as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“women
are better off in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
” is no longer true.

While such human evolution is true and should
morally
be supported
, going against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nature
, when we’re
clearly
not in a position to, is immoral.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
has not
yet
found a biological and psycho-social alternative for the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
. And while gender equality is great, it never means fusion of the two poles of our species. I don’t believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
never has strived to eliminate sex
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
simply
impracticable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
uniformly
productive as they recently are, don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
utilize their worth in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of civilization.

If one person, or sex, is
naturally
gifted to play a special and vital role in the society, it is her duty to thrive in it. I
therefore
conclude that in a child’s life its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is irreplaceable, and,
hence
, it is she who should rear her child.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay "Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now? " Give your opinion in no less than 250 words. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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