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Most university graduates earn more money than less well educated people. Some people argue that this means they should pay the full cost of their education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Most university graduates earn more money than less well educated people. Some people argue that this means they should pay the full cost of their education. v. 1
It is widely accepted that the majority of educated young people have higher monthly income than those who do not enter higher education. Some people assume that they should pay their tuition fees. I totally disagree with the idea because of two main reasons. First, education is a key factor contributing to the development of a country. Hence, the government should make budgetary allocations for education, especially providing financial support for university students. This would urge young people to go to college and give them the opportunity to be exposed to academic and scientific advances from the world powers and, as a result, they apply gained knowledge to make their country more developed. For example, when Vietnamese economic students who have been helped to pay university fees by the state understand international trade laws and customs procedures, they would export Vietnamese agricultural products to international markets. Moreover, there are several professions which have a low monthly salary, but require degrees such as teaching. Second, there are implications for the society when many young people are poorly educated because they cannot afford the costs of going to college. Those without degrees will be more willing to take a blue-collar job and have lower living standards, which probably prompts them to commit crimes or social evils such as drug addiction. In conclusion, government should financially support university students because educated people could help the country achieve sustainable development.
It is
widely
accepted
that the majority of educated young
people
have higher monthly income than those who do not enter higher education.
Some
people
assume that they should pay their tuition fees. I
totally
disagree with the
idea
because
of two main reasons.

First
, education is a key factor contributing to the development of a country.
Hence
, the
government
should
make
budgetary allocations for education,
especially
providing financial support for university students. This would urge young
people
to go to college and give them the opportunity to
be exposed
to academic and scientific advances from the world powers and,
as a result
, they apply gained knowledge to
make
their country more developed.
For example
, when Vietnamese economic students who have been
helped
to pay university fees by the state understand international trade laws and customs procedures, they would export Vietnamese agricultural products to international markets.
Moreover
, there are several professions which have a low monthly salary,
but
require degrees such as teaching.

Second, there are implications for the society when
many
young
people
are
poorly
educated
because
they cannot afford the costs of going to college. Those without degrees will be more willing to take a blue-collar job and have lower living standards, which
probably
prompts them to commit crimes or social evils such as drug addiction.

In conclusion
,
government
should
financially
support university students
because
educated
people
could
help
the country achieve sustainable development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Most university graduates earn more money than less well educated people. Some people argue that this means they should pay the full cost of their education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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