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3. When people succeed, it is because of hard work. luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

3. When people succeed, it is because of hard work. luck has nothing to do with success. v. 1
Some people think that hard work is one and only factor which helps people to succeed, while others think that luck also influences success. Personally, I agree with the latter. The first reason I agree with it is that success is the ultimate goal of everyone. People try to achieve success in their work and study in many ways. Thanks to diligence and perseverance, some people can gain success. For instance, some of them memorize one hundred new words in a day, always repeat grammars and read books ten pages a day to become perfect in foreign language, particularly English, which is a global language; in the end, they can speak fluently and took the IELTS or TOEFL exam successfully. Therefore, I think that people’s effort and hard work influence their success. The other case I agree with it is that luck plays an important role in human life. It is because if people will be positive and will do the right things, luck will support and help them very much. For example, some people’s goal is done successfully without any problem; in my opinion, they are good people and they help others constantly. That is why, if we sincerely try to our right purpose, luck will help us, and we will become successful. We should be positive in order to achieve success. All in all, being hardworking and consistent is really important to be successful, and luck plays a role when we are better in person. In other words, being successful depends on not only hard work but also luck.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to succeed, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that luck
also
influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter.

The
first
reason I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is the ultimate goal of everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
try to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Thanks to diligence and perseverance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them memorize one hundred new words in a day, always repeat grammars and read books ten pages a day to become perfect in foreign language,
particularly
English, which is a global language; in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they can speak
fluently
and took the IELTS or TOEFL exam
successfully
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
influence their success.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
case I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it is that luck plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human life.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and will do the right things, luck will support and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
goal
is done
successfully
without any problem; in my opinion, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others
constantly
.

That is
why, if we
sincerely
try to our right purpose, luck will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us, and we will become successful. We should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in order to achieve success.

All in all, being hardworking and consistent is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be successful, and luck plays a role when we are better in person. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, being successful depends on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
luck.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay 3. When people succeed, it is because of hard work. luck has nothing to do with success. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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