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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this good way to raise children ? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older ?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? e55mp
Raising children has always been a delicate subject. In order to make them better future individuals, good parenting must be considered as utmost priority. Some parents believe that fulfilling all the wishes of their children is a better way to raise them. However, this essay illustrates an elaborative analysis why this method should not be opted and what are its repercussions. First and Foremost drawback of this approach is that it will lead to an adverse behavioural inculcation in the child’s personality. There is an exhibition of traits like stubbornness and anger in the children whose wishes are accomplished by their parents. They do not get well with other children which results in poor social life. Moreover, they frequently display the habit of pestering their parents, less adjustability and feel demotivated if the wishes are left unfulfilled. Therefore, this contributes to poor upbringing of a child. Children also tends to loose attention in their goals and objectives. Often, lead by the drive to get their desires fulfilled, children remain more attracted towards their whims and wish which disturb their focus on the main purpose for which their wishes are being fulfilled. Moreover, there will be constant expectation of children to get the desires accomplished which makes the situation more problematic. The phenomenon of buying the children whatever the want takes them away from the practicalities of real world where regular and constant efforts are required to achieve the dreams. Hence, to conclude, it can be said that children must be motivated by the sense of accomplishment of the task rather than luring them by buying whatever they ask for. Proper mentoring must be initiated to cultivate a habit of putting the hard work to achieve success which will result in making them better future beings.
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has always been a delicate subject. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them better future individuals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as utmost priority.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents believe that fulfilling all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wishes
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a better way to raise them.
However
, this essay illustrates an elaborative analysis why this method should not
be opted
and what are its repercussions.

First
and Foremost drawback of this approach is that it will lead to an adverse
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
inculcation in the child’s personality. There is an exhibition of traits like stubbornness and anger in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wishes
are accomplished
by their parents. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which results in poor social life.
Moreover
, they
frequently
display the habit of pestering their parents, less adjustability and feel demotivated if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wishes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unfulfilled.
Therefore
, this contributes to poor upbringing of a child.

Children
also
tends to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
attention in their goals and objectives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, lead by the drive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desires fulfilled,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
remain more attracted towards their whims and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wish
which disturb their focus on the main purpose for which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wishes
are
being fulfilled
.
Moreover
, there will be constant expectation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the desires accomplished which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the situation more problematic. The phenomenon of buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whatever the want takes them away from the practicalities of real world where regular and constant efforts
are required
to achieve the dreams.

Hence
,
to conclude
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be motivated
by the sense of accomplishment of the task
rather
than luring them by buying whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
. Proper mentoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be initiated
to cultivate a habit of putting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to achieve success which will result in making them better future beings.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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