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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? 566pm
Every one loves to be on a vacation, especially when they are on a regular stress full job for a longer time. It is very common to get tired of the job if it was continued with out a proper break and a vacation seems like an option for those who wish to recoup their enthusiasm. It not only just makes you feel fresh but also make you productive at your work. A longer holiday comes in the way at least once in a year, helps you in taking your mind off from the work and mental stress due to it. By being in a different situation such as a beach or a calm spot, definitely take your thoughts far away from daily professional struggles. For instance, being in a party town surrounded by happy people makes you wanted to a part of it rather than being stuck behind office desk. A long break helps in improving the efficiency of people at work. If we are stuck with problem and couldn’t find a solution for so long, it is often advised to take a break and attempt it after. People have often experienced this as something magical, as the solution just appear post to a good amount of break as they tent to think from outside the box. In conclusion, a long break is from the morning 9 to 5 problem is necessary and employer who understands it encourage the long break for employees as it increases productivity by reducing the stress of people.
Every one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to be on a vacation,
especially
when they are on a regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
full job for a longer time. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired of the job if it
was continued
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
and a vacation seems like an option for those who wish to recoup their enthusiasm. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you feel fresh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you productive at your work.

A longer holiday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the way at least once in a year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you in taking your mind off from the work and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to it. By being in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation such as a beach or a calm spot, definitely take your thoughts far away from daily professional struggles.
For instance
, being
Unless you mean "in a political party," the usual preposition for a party is "at." Did you mean, "at a party"?
in a party
town surrounded by happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
makes
you wanted to a part of it
rather
than
being stuck
behind office desk.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving the efficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at work. If we
are stuck
with problem and couldn’t find a solution for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
advised to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
and attempt it after.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experienced this as something magical, as the solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
appear post to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
as they tent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
from outside the box.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
is from the morning 9 to 5 problem is necessary and employer who understands it encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
for employees as it increases productivity by reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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