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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. with this opinion? nPKE
For many years, people have used to celebrate either religious or traditional events by organizing different festivals during specific periods along the year. While some people do remember the origins behind each festival and make efforts to memorize these events every year, others barely know a little or even nothing about popular events they use to celebrate. Recently, it has been alleged that most people have forgotten the meaning behind their national or religious festivals and they only want to enjoy themselves regardless of the original roots for the celebrated ceremony. Nonetheless, it cannot be determined how big do this portion of naïve people constitute out of the general community without precise studies and formal questionnaires. I personally prefer to keep in mind the real meaning behind these events whenever festivals are celebrated in order to enjoy the additional cultural taste, at least, during these dates. Historically, ethnic and religious groups decided to perpetuate specific landmark events through their collective history by celebrating these events in an annual manner. This method is thought to be quite effective in maintaining cultural and religious relations within those groups and creating cohesive communities. On the other hand, there have been many modifications in organizing festivals, as some ceremonies have been faded away while new and modern details have been added to the festivals. Therefore, young people might not know the essence behind the party, and gradually they have gotten used to only celebrating the activity by itself, without any intent to be acquainted with the meaning for these parties. For example, many youngsters who celebrate Christmas market all over the world may not know the real details behind this event and what does exactly this event mean to Christianity. However, I believe that such details are actually important both in adding significant meaning for the celebration itself, and also it is vital as a way to maintain cultural and religious identity. To conclude, if people had not celebrated festivals and had not highlighted its traditional and religious dimensions, they would have forgotten their collective memory and gradually would have lost their identity.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to celebrate either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
or traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
by organizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
during specific periods along the year. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do remember the origins behind each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to memorize these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
every year, others
barely
know a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or even nothing about popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
celebrate. Recently, it has
been alleged
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
behind their national or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
festivals and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want to enjoy themselves regardless of the original roots for the celebrated ceremony. Nonetheless, it cannot
be determined
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
do this portion of naïve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
constitute out of the general community without precise studies and formal questionnaires. I
personally
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
behind these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are celebrated
in order to enjoy the additional cultural taste, at least, during these dates.

Historically
, ethnic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
groups decided to perpetuate specific landmark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
through their collective history by celebrating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
Consider replacing "in an annual manner" with the adverb for "annual"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an annual manner
. This method is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be quite effective in maintaining cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
relations within those groups and creating cohesive communities.

On the other hand
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modifications in organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ceremonies have
been faded
away while new and modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
.
Therefore
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not know the essence behind the party, and
gradually
they have gotten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
celebrating the activity by itself, without any intent to
be acquainted
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
for these parties.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters who celebrate Christmas market all over the world may not know the real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
behind this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and what does exactly this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
mean to Christianity.
However
, I believe that such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
both in adding significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
for the celebration itself, and
also
it is vital as a way to maintain cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
identity.

To conclude
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had not celebrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and had not highlighted its traditional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religious
dimensions, they would have forgotten their collective memory and
gradually
would have lost their identity.
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IELTS essay Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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