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Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. j0jL
It is always difficult to choose whether the government should maintain and repair old buildings or put the effort to build new ones. Some people believe that constructing new structures will create more jobs, while the opponents of this idea claim that restoring the existing monuments is more economical for the public budget. I personally believe that we should look after old buildings. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs. First of all, preserving the city's museums and halls has proven to be a cheaper solution than building new public spaces, especially for developing countries. For example, the Iranian government rebuilt all of Isfahan's historic buildings instead of public demand for constructing new luxury monuments. The government estimate that the real cost is only 3% compared to the plan to build new public buildings. Therefore, it is crystal clear the preservation of the existing sites is vital to government financial resources. Secondly, old buildings are the cultural and historical components of every city. Moreover, to learn about the way of living in the past, it is highly important to preserve the historical sites. In this way, people’s names and history attached with those places and thus emotions is also the key factor for the government to put more focus on reinventing existing places than creating new ones. For example, the Iranian government believed in preserving ancient buildings in Yazd because it depicts Iranian rich culture, history, and architecture. Thus, preserving them is the responsibility of the present generation. In conclusion, restoring the old structures not only maintains the beauty of the cultural and historical city but also is much more convenient for public finance. Thus, I believe it is a better choice to maintain old buildings instead of constructing new ones.
It is always difficult to choose whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should maintain and repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
or put the effort to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structures will create more jobs, while the opponents of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
claim that restoring the existing monuments is more economical for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
budget. I
personally
believe that we should look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, preserving the city's museums and halls has proven to be a cheaper solution than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spaces,
especially
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
For example
, the Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
rebuilt all of Isfahan's historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
demand for constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
luxury monuments. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
estimate that the real cost is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% compared to the plan to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Therefore
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the preservation of the existing sites is vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financial resources.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are the cultural and historical components of every city.
Moreover
, to learn about the way of living in the past, it is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to preserve the historical sites. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s names and history attached with those places and
thus
emotions is
also
the key factor for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to put more focus on reinventing existing places than creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
For example
, the Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
believed in preserving ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yazd
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it depicts Iranian rich culture, history, and architecture.
Thus
, preserving them is the responsibility of the present generation.

In conclusion
, restoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
structures not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintains the beauty of the cultural and historical city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is much more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
finance.
Thus
, I believe it is a better choice to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
instead
of constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.

IELTS essay Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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